A Better Woman
by anaenglish
Summary: What made Callie move halfway across the world to a dreary little English city? She had no idea, but she was glad she did.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note - this is my first ever fanfic and I'd be so grateful for any reviews. I have an outline of a plot in the long run, so please bear with me even if it starts off a little slow.

A Better Woman

Before I had left Seattle, I set myself the task of settling down as quickly as possible, which I now realised was utterly impossible. I had only been here a few weeks and after the initial excitement of moving halfway across the world diminished, the anxiety had settled in. I was due to start work soon and that thought had given me fresh bouts of dread each time I remembered.

It was hard to believe I had been tricked into moving here; hardly any of Mark's crazy plans materialised, and this idea was definitely one of the worst - what had possessed me to agree to this ludicrous proposal?  
Yes, I was angry at the time. Mark knew that and he used it to his advantage. My mother and father had hardly been the most accepting of parents but it was so foolish of me to introduce my then girlfriend to them. Being raised a strict Catholic, it was like opening a can of worms. I was, in my mother's eyes, "a woman below par" and my father was so disgusted that he couldn't bring himself to say a single word.  
Before I knew it, I was cut off both financially and familially; there were no more invites to Easter, or Thanksgiving or Christmas and so I spent most of those holidays feeling sorry for myself and hanging out with Mark.

After he had accepted a job as the new head of a hospital over in England, he convinced me to go with him, ensuring that I too would have a job waiting for me there. I had just gotten off the phone to my cousin, who had called on behalf of my parents asking me to stop sending holiday cards and gifts to them for they were not appreciated and in my fit of rage, I had accepted Mark's idea. I wasn't thinking straight and by the time I had realised what I had agreed to, Mark had already started making arrangements for me.  
Once that was all settled, I thought it a good thing to be leaving the States; I could leave all that emotional baggage behind me and start afresh, I could prove to my parents that I was a successful independent woman and that I didn't need anyone who considered me "below par". Eventually, I began to share Mark's excitement for what was ahead. Of course, it was difficult to say goodbye to the place that I had called home. Seattle had been good to me and the memory of leaving my medical family still causes my throat to catch.

Although Mark did make a hash on the job front, I have to give him some credit. True to his word, there was a post for me here as the new ortho surgeon in this teeny weeny hospital. I couldn't help but think that my skills could be put to better use some place else, in a much larger hospital. Mark on the other hand, found out that he was not going to be the head of the hospital as he originally thought. In fact, he was now a member of the burns unit - his plastics expertise could be put to good use for patient recovery. Even though he had been upset by the news, he would survive - he was a big boy.  
Secretly though, I was somewhat grateful that he had been "downgraded" (his words not mine) - I could not stand the thought him marching around the hospital acting all 'holier than thou'; sometimes Mark needed taking down a notch or two.

Our house was a lot bigger than our apartment back in Seattle - it was two storied with a garage _and _a garden. It had only taken us a few days to unpack our belongings. The house was half empty though, we were so used to the limited spacing back home that we never realised just how little we owned. We spent the rest of our free time getting to know our new neighbourhood picking out a new couch and furniture to fill up the space in our new place.  
The area was pretty quiet. We were in living in a nice community in the suburbs of a small-ish city. People were surprised to hear our American accents but they were friendly and very welcoming, if not a little nosey. I've lost count how many times we had to explain that we were not tourists the first few weeks living there.

The days passed slowly and one evening as we sat down to dinner in our newly furnished dining room, conversation turned to a previously undiscussed about topic.

"How are you finding it here?" Mark always had a habit of talking with his mouth full and spraying me with bits of pasta, I gave him a look of disgust.

"Mark, learn your manners. We're in England now, not America."  
Mark reached for a napkin and lazily wiped his mouth. He gestured for an answer to his question.

"Well, the people are nice." I said, diplomatically.

"Don't give me that crap Calliope Torres, I know you better than that."  
I scowled at him - he knew how much I hate being called Calliope. He blinked back at me, totally unaffected by my obvious displeasure.

"It's just so... quiet," Mark nodded in agreement, "it's just so different here. I miss the skyscrapers, the noise, and the garbage Mark... I miss the garbage."  
He frowned and rightly so, it was such a strange thing to miss.

"The trash?" There was a worried tone in his voice, did he think I was mad?

"Yes, the trash. It's so clean here."  
With that, Mark let out a snort and started to splutter everywhere. The sight of his face turning like a tomato and coughing violently sent me into a fit of laughter. Having successfully cleared his airway obstruction, he looked at me with his eyebrows furrowed.

"So, whilst I choked to death, you were going to just sit and laugh at me?"  
I could barely say a word, my cheeks were hurting from smiling and ribs shaking from the laughter. I nodded as I gasped for air.

"Hey, you better be a better doctor tomorrow," Mark said, as he waggled his fork at me, "you don't want to kill somebody by standing aside laughing at them whilst they die on the table."  
The sudden turn in the conversation caused the smile to be wiped off my face. Tomorrow was the first day of work and fear had obviously flashed across my face because Mark reached across the dining table to put his hand on my shoulder.

"Callie... it's not the first day of school you know, no one's going to pick on you."  
I tilted my head to the side and gave him my infamous 'seriously?" look.

"Ok ok, I was just trying to make you feel better. Listen, we're going to be new together, just man up because it's going to be fine."  
The rest of our meal was taken in silence.

I had great difficulty getting to sleep that night. The wind and rain were lashing against my window - it's true you know, the weather in England is crap. All that was on my mind was the dreaded first day tomorrow.  
According to Mark, all I needed to do was "man up", whatever that meant. Was I being irrational?  
It's going to be fine, I told myself, you're Callie Torres, you're going to be great. I rolled over, closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note - I wanted to put this chapter up fairly quickly to start the actual plot I have planned. There's a teaser at the end so that's an incentive to keep reading!  
Even though they are across the pond, a couple of familiar faces from the TV series may appear as their English counterparts as you will see in this chapter.

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoy and reviews are greatly appreciated!

A Better Woman

I opened my eyes and found myself staring at my alarm clock on the nightstand beside my bed. Shit - I was late. I scrambled out of bed and showered as fast as I could. I didn't have time to blowdry my hair so I roughly towel-dried it and descended to the kitchen for my morning coffee. Mark was already up of course, with a spoon in one hand and a newspaper in the other. He didn't have the decency to wake me up.

"Morning," Mark called from behind his paper at me as he shovelled another spoonful of cereal into his mouth, "sleep well?"  
I didn't even justify that with an answer - he knew how nervous I was about today. I poured myself a coffee and sat down opposite him and started reading what was on the back cover of the paper.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Mark didn't even have to look over his paper to know that I hadn't a plate of food in front of me; I was never a breakfast person, "I think you should eat something."

"I'll be fine, jackass."

"That's what I was saying yesterday... And what's with the jackass?" Mark's face was still behind the paper and his tone of his voice was unchanged - I couldn't tell what his reaction had been to the insult.

"You didn't wake me up, that's what," I tried to calmly take a sip of coffee, "I overslept."

"I was going to wake you up..." he checked his watch, "now actually. I thought you could do with a bit more sleep. I heard you tossing and turning last night and you didn't settle till gone 2."  
I immediately felt guilty at my rudeness. Mark was looking out for me.

"Sorry," I muttered.  
Mark finally put down the paper.

"Relax! Have some food," he pushed his bowl towards me, encouraging me to eat and took my hand in his, before instantly retracting it and wiping his hand on his shirt, "Aren't you going to dry your hair?"

**The Hospital**

The hospital was definitely a lot smaller than Seattle Grace Mercy West, but I didn't really expect the reception area to be almost full - it was barely 9am and it was already getting crowded.  
Butterflies were fluttering around in my stomach - what if I didn't like it here? What if they didn't like me? What if I didn't fit in?

"Are you ok?" Mark protectively put his arm over my shoulders as we approached the reception station, sensing my unease.  
I nodded curtly - just man up Callie, I thought to myself as we waited patiently for the small, rather plump woman to finish her call.

"Hi," Mark placed his arm on the desk and leaned in, adopting his gruff assertive voice. It was his way of exerting his authority to strangers, "I'm Doctor Sloan and this -"

"And this must be Doctor Torres."  
Mark frowned, he wasn't used to getting cut off mid sentence. I knew from that minute that I liked this receptionist. She had balls; not many people could interrupt Mark Sloan mid-assertion. "They've been expecting you. I think Doctor Altman is up in room 2-10." She used her pen to point us in the direction of the elevator, "Second floor."  
We thanked her for her help and made our way to the second floor.

"I bet this Doctor Altman is the head here." Mark's annoyance was clearly, but not necessarily intentionally, expressed in the tone of his voice. I didn't want to add fuel to the fire so I didn't say anything until the elevator pinged and its doors opened.  
The first floor was busy, so we didn't bother asking for directions. Instead we spent a few minutes walking around in silence trying to find room 2-10. Eventually, we found the room, but it was empty.

"Let's just wait here Mark. MARK -"  
Mark had already left the room, power walking along the corridors calling out "Doctor Altman, where's Doctor Altman?" in that bellowing husky voice of his. He was such a child; he had no concept of patience.  
Great, I thought to myself, everyone's going to hate us. Mark returned alone.

"People are so rude in here, they kept staring at me like I was mad," he sat himself down on the chair by the window.

"Oh really? I wonder why." I muttered sarcastically to myself as a gurney wheeled in.  
A couple of nurses began setting up the machinery and the room was filled with a whirring. A few moments later, a woman appeared staring fixedly at a chart.  
Mark, as impatient as he was, stood up and cleared his voice in an attempt to catch the doctor's attention. She didn't even bat an eyelid to Mark's cough and continued to look intently at the file. A minute or so later, she looked up and smiled.

"Doctor Sloan and Doctor Torres?" We both nodded and Mark lunged in for a handshake, but the woman turned towards the door, leaving Mark hanging and called over her shoulder, "Come with me."  
We obediently obliged, following her along the corridors before turning into what appeared to be her office.

"Take a seat," she gestured to the seat in front of her desk and took her seat opposite us, "I am Doctor Altman, but please, call me Teddy."  
Mark stifled a laugh. It was as if I could read his mind - who would call their child Teddy?

"So you're the head here?"  
I sighed, when would he let that go?

She smiled at him, "No... well yes. Temporary head here, Doctor Lewis is on leave at the moment, he's working in Nepal. Anyway," Teddy opened a desk drawer and flicked through some paperwork, "Since Doctor Lewis was supposed to do all of this, I don't really know what I'm doing. I guess you could just get started straight away. Pick up some scrubs in the storeroom at the end of the corridor and change in the changing room opposite and meet me back here."  
It was almost robotic, the way we both left the room and changed into our scrubs.

"What do you think of her?" Before I had time to answer, Mark carried on, "I reckon she's going to be a tough safe to crack."  
Laughing at the weird metaphor, I knew exactly what he meant.

"Mark, you _just_ met her and already you're assessing how hard it's going to be to get in her pants. She seems nice though."  
Mark smiled cheekily, "I don't know, the crazy ones always have the weirdest names."  
We turned into Teddy's office and were immediately handed a patient's file each.

"I'm really sorry, I would stay and show you around but I must dash." She moved towards the door, "Oh! Your ID," Teddy gestured to the little plastic name tags on the desk. Checking her pager and grabbing her stethoscope, she marched out the door before calling out, "Nice to meet you!"  
We stood in her office for a minute, taking in what had just happened. Mark picked up a tag and turned to show it to me.

"What?! We only get these silly little plastic thingys? Where are our personalised coats?"  
I grabbed my tag and attached it to my scrubs, before helping Mark with his. If I didn't do it for him, he would undoubtedly have gone without it.

"She's pretty scatty right?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's going to be crazy too."  
I punched Mark playfully in the arm.

"Meet you later for lunch?"

"Sure, I'll come and find you."  
We both parted. I walked around the hospital for what felt like a good half hour trying to find room 2-34 - this hospital seemed to have no logically layout. I was going to be treating a Mr. Daniel Robbins, if I could ever find him.

Eventually I did and before I entered the room, I did a quick flick over his charts. That's weird, I thought to myself, he doesn't have a single broken bone. Rather, he had been admitted complaining of heart problems.

"Where's Doctor Altman?" A voice called to me as I walked in, it came from the greying blonde standing at the man's bedside and I assumed she was his wife. I looked at her for a second, but paid her no more attention as I turned to face the patient.

"Doctor Altman assigned me to your case Mr. Robbins, I'm Doctor Torres."  
They must have noticed that American twang in my voice.

"American are you?" The man's gruff voice, not dissimilar to Mark's, caught me off guard.

"Yes, Sir. I just moved here."

"Daniel, I think we should get Doctor Altman, she's the one who did your surgery."

"It's fine, it doesn't matter."

"I think it's for the best. Doctor Altman's really good, you know that." She tugged at the bedding impatiently, her eyes now staring deeply at her husband.

"I'm sure Doctor Torres is just as good." Mr. Robbins averted his gaze from his wife and focused on me. I faltered for a second and cleared my throat hesitantly.

"Doctor Altman's unavailable at the minute. I'll be your doctor for the time being." I was trying to assert my authority by changing the tone of my voice, à la Mark Sloan, but it didn't work. It was clear that his wife was getting worked up over Altman's absence. I knew I was going to have my work cut out that morning.

**The Cafeteria**

"That bitch sent us to do her work for her. Apparently _Teddy_ is a cardio specialist..." Mark angrily stabbed at his lunch with his fork, "I went to see Mrs. Dalton thinking it was plastics related, but oh noooo, she had a pacemaker fitted the other day and I was doing her post op care!"

I nodded, "Same thing happened to me. The wife kept asking for Altman."

"I knew she was a crazy bitch."

"Mark, seriously, give her a chance. I'm sure she's just busy..." My voice trailed off as I noticed Mr. Robbins' wife join the lunch queue in the cafeteria. In a low whisper I hissed, "That's her, the one wanted me to get Altman."  
Mark was silent for a second and let out a long _hmmm_, it was all the time he needed to make up his mind. I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"She's hot."

"Oh come on Mark, isn't she a bit more mature than the women you usually hook up with?" I rolled my eyes.

"Wait what? _Ohhhh_ you mean her? I thought you meant the cute blondie next to her."  
I looked back over at the queue, I hadn't noticed that Mrs. Robbins had company.

"Urgh Mark, won't you ever change?"

Mark smiled goofily at me, "Come on Callie, it's part of the Sloan charm. Managed to get your panties off didn't I?"  
I scowled at Mark. It's true, we were very, _very_ close and often that blurred line between lovers and friends was crossed. And even though he did somehow convince me to move here, I still loved Mark - he was my best friend in the entire world, flaws aside.  
Mark sighed exaggeratedly.

"So what do you think of this place?"

"Well, it's not quite like back home... Though the nurses are prettier."

"Mark, seriously?!"

"I can't help it, it's in my nature." He winked shamelessly at me.

"In your nature to be a man-whore is it?"  
Mark screwed up his nose, getting up and holding his now empty tray, he looked down on me as I flashed him a smile.

"I can't help it if I'm in such high demand!"  
I watched him leave the cafeteria and carried on devouring my lunch. I was so hungry. He was right, I should have eaten something a bit more substantial this morning. God! I hate it when Mark's right.

"I'm sorry," a voice came from above me. She took the seat where Mark had been sitting a few moments ago, "I didn't mean to be rude to you earlier. We've known Doctor Altman for a while, we're just so used to her..."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it, it's hard seeing someone you love in pain."  
I made my eyes meet Mrs. Robbins' and she smiled. It was then I noticed another person stood by her - the blondie from the queue.  
Must be her daughter, I thought to myself. We exchanged goodbyes and as they turned to leave, I found my eyes following the younger woman out the room until she was no longer visible.  
As much as I hate it when Mark Sloan's right, I had to admit she was pretty hot.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note - I'm posting this 2 days early because I'm just so happy - I got accepted into med school :D

I'm sorry for the frustration over Arizona's role in the last chapter, it didn't feel natural for me to have her cannon-balling herself into Callie's life so soon, but don't worry, I hope this chapter will tide you over until the next chapter.

Thank you for reading and the reviews, and I hope you all have a nice day.

A Better Woman

With the lack of broken limbs, I was getting a little bored in the ortho department, so I had resorted to floating around the hospital to see if there were any cases worth stealing, something we attendings used to do all the time back in Seattle. Apparently, it's not really a thing here and both Mark and I had been caught in a couple of sticky situations.

I had been wandering around the corridors on the prowl for a meaty case to steal for the past 10 minutes - old habits die hard right?  
There were a couple of interesting cases, but nothing that really tickled my fancy - there was nothing as hardcore as some of the stuff I had worked on in Seattle.  
On quiet days like this, it was hard not to think about home. What would I be doing right now if I was back in Seattle? What awesome kick-ass surgery would I be performing? Who would be doing the awkward walk of shame having spent the night with Mark?  
I smiled. I had fond memories of Seattle and I did miss it, but there was a little part of me that was glad that I had left the States. There was so much that I needed to get away from - George, Erica, my parents.  
My heart stang. I knew we weren't on speaking terms, but surely having their daughter move across the world deserved a phone call. Did they really not care at all anymore?  
Maybe I should call them, I thought, but what good would that do? It would just give them another opportunity to tell me how disgusted and disappointed they were with me. It nearly killed me the first time and then the second time, so why should I put myself through that, willingly, again?

"Doctor Torres!"  
My train of thought disrupted, I turned back on my heel and looked around to see where the voice had come from. It called for me again.

"Doctor Torres, in here!"  
It came from 2-34, a room that I was now familiar with thanks to my occasional visits to see Mr. Robbins. Even though Teddy had reclaimed him as her patient, I still dropped in to see him from time to time. Entering the room I was greeted with a big smile.

"Mr. Robbins," I grinned back as I moved to his bedside, "how are you doing?"

"Great, I was just hoping to catch you before I left today," he suddenly grasped my hand and shook it firmly, "I want to thank you for all your help Doctor."

"I really didn't do..." Mr. Robbins released my hand as his head turned towards the door.  
I followed his gaze and my eyes were captivated by the woman who had just walked in. My voice seemed to slip away from me and I was left with just a whisper as I watched Mr. Robbins embrace her, "...anything."  
I realised that I had been watching them for a little too long - it must have been bordering on creepy because the woman gave me a confused look.  
I could feel my cheeks blush and I was flustered. Her entrance had caught me off guard and something about her just stole my attention. I felt like I was being the biggest goof and trying to avoid her stare, I quickly grabbed Mr. Robbins charts.  
I listened intently on their conversation as they exchanged their greetings. As much as I willed myself to keep flicking through his charts, I found my eyes drawn to them and I self confirmed that she was the woman from the cafeteria. The one who had previously caught my eye - Mr. Robbins' daughter.  
She had her hand affectionately placed on her father's and he had raised his free hand to tuck a loose blonde curl behind her ear.  
This sickeningly sweet display caused a hatred to boil within me and it triggered memories of my own father. This is what a real father-daughter relationship should be like. It wasn't supposed to be a "scream at the top of your lungs" battle. It wasn't supposed to be a clash of egos and wills. It was supposed to be like this, tender moments of love and affection - an invisible length of rope binding people together.  
My jealous rage was interrupted.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," Mr. Robbins broke their hand lock and lifted himself off the bed, "I'll meet you here in a few minutes, I just want to go to the toilet first."  
Angry for letting myself witness their loving embrace, I continued to look through the charts.  
I hadn't realised that Arizona had been trying to get my attention until pulled down the files in my hands and ducked her head into my eyeline.

"Hi," she said chirpily, flashing her dimples. She was making an attempt at small talk.  
My eyes looked up at hers and I was lost for words for what I had seen. The clearest, bluest eyes stared back at me and I was almost lost in her beauty. For a second we were tangled in each other's gazes and that felt so alien to me. I wrestled my throat to say something. Anything.

"H-hi." My voice caught as I stammered over just one syllable. I must have looked like an utter moron to her, but she just carried on talking, "My father didn't introduce us," She reached out her hand across the bed, "Arizona Robbins."

"Callie Torres," I gladly took her hand in mine and she gave it a gentle shake.

"My father talks a lot -"

"Callie, are you ready?"  
Mark stood in the doorway with his hands on his hips. He didn't seem to realise that he had just cut Arizona off mid sentence, but I knew he immediately recognised her from before because his trademark "why, hello there" smile formed on his face.

I glanced up at the clock, "There's still 20 minutes left.", but my comment was ignored.  
Mark had swaggered into the room and held out his hand to Arizona.

"Mark Sloan."

"Arizona Robbins."  
Oh God, I have seen this move far too many times. Mark was going to try what he liked to call the Handshake Pull.  
Having initiated a handshake, he was going to keep holding on to her hand even when she tried to pull away from him. He was going to clasp his other hand over hers and pull her into him, so that their faces were close. Then, he would go in for the kill.  
That's exactly what happened. Mark's face was just inches from hers and opening his mouth to speak, he found himself interrupted.

"Oh ho, I don't think so." Arizona pulled away from him, leaving Mark hanging, "Thanks, I'm super flattered but no thanks."  
The look on Mark's face was one of total shock. I smirked at him as he tried to recover from the embarrassing incident. His cheeks were flushed and turning me to support, he mouthed "Help me." I shook my head and finding himself defenseless, he did what he always did when his come-ons failed.

"What's that James?" he called, "I'm needed upstairs? OK."  
Mark swiftly left the room and we heard his footsteps fade down the corridor. Arizona and I both knew that he had faked being "needed upstairs" and she cracked out into this hysterical laugh. The kind of laugh that would leave you gasping for air, make you snort uncontrollable and leave your sides hurting after. I laughed with her, but stopped long before she did.  
I watched her dimples form in between breaths, watched her toss her hair back and forth as she tried to stifle her laughs, and when her father returned, I watched her walk out the door.

"I'll see you soon." She said, before she finally disappeared into the corridor..  
I stood there alone in room 2-34 for a few minutes trying to figure out what she meant - I doubted that our paths would cross again. Then, I was ambushed by the weirdest sensation in my chest. It felt like she was pulling my heart strings.

**Home**

Teddy joined us for dinner that evening. Having seen her buy microwave meals several times over the past week, Mark had insisted that she needed a proper meal and had invited her over. Initially, I thought this was going to be an attempt to "crack her safe" so I had offered to spend the night in the on-call room to give them some privacy, but it seemed like Mark was being genuine.  
The three of us sat down to a pleasant meal, talking about how we were settling in and how we liked the area and even the completed building work at the hospital, until I decided to bring up Mark's little mishap.

"So Teddy, the _funniest_ thing happened today."  
Mark kicked my under the table and he arched his eyebrow.

"Come on Callie, we don't want to bore our guest..."

"Oh, Mark Sloan getting tetchy about something. No, I think I want to hear this." Teddy's mouth stretched into a grin.  
I proceeded to fill her in with what had happened in 2-34 to Mark's displeasure. His head had lowered to avoid our eyes but I could see that his cheeks had again turned red. It wasn't often for Mark to be embarrassed and now this rare opportunity had come, I was going to seize it with both hands.

"What was that you were saying a few weeks back? Oh yeah." I took deep breath and lowered my voice into a deep husky growl to adopt my best Mark voice, ""The Handshake Pull is ingenious. It never fails.""  
My lips curled into a massive smile. Mark shot me an icy look but I knew his annoyance with me wouldn't last.

"That was just a one-off."

"Wait... Room 2-34? You mean Daniel Robbins' room?" I nodded, Teddy turned to Mark, "_You_ tried to pull a move on his wife?"

"No.. His daughter." Mark frowned.

"His daughter?!" I joined Mark by furrowing my brows, was it really that much of a shock?

"Yes, why, what's the problem?"

"Oh... nothing."

"It doesn't matter anyway, 'cause I've got her all figured out. She must be a lesbian."

"And how did you work that out Mark?" My eyes rolled.

"Because no straight girl can resist me if I use that move." said Mark haughtily.

"Oh, so that's the only reason why it failed is it? Because she's a lesbian?" I raised my brows, "It's not because you weren't her type? Or, God forbid, she thought you were ugly?"

"Don't be stupid Torres, I'm everyone's type. We Sloan men are versatile guys, there's always something for everybody." He ran his hand through his hair arrogantly, "And I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear the ugly part."  
With that, Mark tilted his head up with pride and proceeded to talk about rant about the hospital vending machines (no jujubes? Outrage!)  
But Teddy, I noticed, was awfully quiet for the rest of the night.

As I lay in bed, thinking over the things that had happened today, I felt a big smile creep onto my face. Yes, today had been a good day, even if I could feel a cold starting to develop.  
Mark's ego had been taken down a peg and it would be a couple of days before his confidence would return to its usual level. That gave me a few more opportunities to remind him about it. It was probably going to be a long while before another one of his come-ons failed, so I was going to make the most out of this.  
My mind passed over Mr. Robbins. I had grown strangely attached to him during his stay at the hospital. He always seemed so happy to see me, probably because I always brought him copious amounts of tea and biscuits.  
His daughter seemed nice too. It had been ages since I had seen a woman reject Mark Sloan and it was thanks to her that today had been such a good day. It seemed a shame that I wouldn't be seeing anymore of her since her father had now left, because she seemed like a person I would hang around with. All women who could resist Mark should be friends, I thought.  
I felt that sudden strange tug in my heart again and spent the rest of the night trying to understand what the feeling meant.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note - Long chapter, it's starting to gain a little more momentum. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading.

A Better Woman

Teddy was now a regular at our lunch table, whenever she had time to get lunch, that is. It wasn't uncommon for her to skip her breaks in favour of checking up on her patients, or to attend meetings.  
I felt a little jealous of her - she was so busy all the time and all I ever got to do was put broken limbs in casts while she was up and about, performing awesome pioneering surgeries.

That lunch, Teddy had managed to wheedle her way out of a meeting and sat down at our usual table with us. Mark's face lit up - although we both enjoyed her company, we had very different reasons for it.  
Over the last couple of days, I watched him flirt shamelessly with her whenever he had the chance. I wasn't entirely sure whether she was aware of what he was doing though, because most of she seemed oblivious to the double meanings to his questions.  
In an attempt to protect poor innocent Teddy from Mark, I steered the conversation away from how she like her eggs in the morning.

"So Teddy," I scowled at Mark, "are we still expecting you for dinner this evening?"  
There was hopeful expression on Mark's face.

"Sorry Callie, I'm going to have to cancel. My new housemate is moving in later so I should stay in and help her out."

"Oh." Mark's disappointment was obvious in his voice, "Do you need any help?"

"No thanks Mark, we'll be fine. Oh God," she moved Mark's hand and looked at his watch, "is that really the time? I was supposed to be giving a tour of Haygrove five minutes ago, I better run!"  
Teddy got up but placed her hand sympathetically on Mark's shoulder before leaving. Even if she hadn't noticed his blatant flirtation, she did notice the disappointment he felt when she told us that she wasn't free in the evening for dinner.

"What's Haygrove?"  
I had been watching him a little while, trying to tell how he was feeling. It was unlike Mark to get upset over the cancellation of dinner - normally he'd just brush it off.

"Haven't a clue," no one had mentioned anything about it before to us, "I saw the new signs for it though, must have been what they were building before?"  
I made a mental note to ask Teddy about it the next time I saw her.

It turned out that the next time I would bump into her was a few days later, I had just finished a late shift and was just about to head home. Teddy looked tired and a little worse for wear.

"Callie, just who I wanted to see." she smiled weakly, "Walk and talk with me?"  
I silently agreed and together we walked down the halls.

"Are you -" she broke out into a huge yawn.

"Teddy, did you get any sleep last night?"  
She put her hand on her forehead and sighed.

"Surgery ran late yesterday. I had about an hour of sleep."

I put my arm around her shoulder, "Go up to the on-call room, get an hour of sleep, I'll try and cover for you for a bit."  
She didn't bother putting up a fight.

"You're a saviour Callie." She turned on her heel in the direction of the closest on-call room but quickly turned back to face me, "Oh wait, I forgot to ask. Are you free tonight? You and Mark? Dinner? I've been meaning to repay you for keeping me fed for the last couple of weeks."

I curved my lips into a smile. "You really don't have to, Teddy. Mark loves cooking anyway, he's quite the domestic goddess."

Teddy let out a soft laugh, "See you at 7 then, my house."  
Then I remembered what Mark had said once to me before - Teddy can't cook.

**Teddy's House**

Mark and I got out of the car and headed up the path to the front door. He gave it a firm knock and we waited for a response.

"Will Teddy's new housemate be in do you think?" I asked, wondering if Teddy had told Mark anymore than she had told me.

"Don't think so - said that her roomie had a date or something."  
A few minutes passed before Mark gave the door another knock. When Teddy finally opened the door, we were hit by the smell of burning.

"Good God woman, what _are_ you cooking?"  
I nudged Mark in the side. Teddy let out a laugh and ushered us into her home. She led us into the kitchen and displayed the burnt remnants of her cooking.

"Yeaaaaah, I think I messed up." waving menus up into our faces she smiled, "So, Pizza or Chinese?"

Tucking into the pizza in her lounge, I couldn't help but notice some of Teddy's... alternative decorating arrangements. I had always imagined Teddy's place as being quite minimalistic, clean and simple, and while it was just as I had expected, there were a couple of things that stood out. The unicorn ornament on the mantelpiece for example, a smiley face picture on the coffee table.  
Teddy must have noticed me looking at the sparkly pink unicorn.

"They're my housemate's," she said quickly, "she's into the sort of thing."

"What, is your housemate a 4 year old girl?" Mark had also noticed the strange trinkets in the room. His phone buzzed suddenly and apologising, he quickly left to answer it.  
Shooting a glare at Mark - who brushed it off, I decided to bring up something I had been puzzling over for the last few days.

"Teddy, what's Haygrove?"

"It's the new department opening soon. I was -"  
We both heard the sound of the front door unlatching. Teddy hopped up from her seat and walked into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. I couldn't help but to overhear their muffled conversation.

"Hey. I wasn't expecting you to come home so early - I have company."

"Yeah, I thought you did. I was wondering why there was a stupid muscle car parked in the drive, I had to park down the road."  
I chuckled at the comment made about Mark's car. He loved that thing far too much. Instead of selling it and buying a new car over here like most people would do, Mark went through all the trouble of getting it shipped over, so that he could drive it here on the wrong side of the road.

"How was the date?"

"Well, I'm home early - go figure." There was a pause, "I'll head out for a bit, give me a ring when they've left."  
The door opened and slammed. Teddy reappeared in the lounge moments later, soon followed by Mark.

"Sorry about that, it was my housemate."  
By this time, the pizza was now lukewarm and I didn't feel like eating anymore.

We thanked Teddy for the evening and clambered back into Mark's car.

"Who was on the phone earlier?"

"Just one of the guys in burns, he wanted my opinion on something."  
There was a few minutes of silence.

"I found out what Haygrove is by the way," Mark's ears pricked up - he was clearly just as interested in it as I was, "turns out it's a new department."  
I watched Mark frown, his eyes still on the road.

"Department of what?"

"I don't know. Teddy was interrupted by her housemate coming in."

"Did you see her? Was she hot?" I punched Mark in the arm and he let out an exaggerated yelp, "We should check the department out tomorrow then."

"It's not even opened yet, Mark. Teddy said it would be a few more days."

"But the display boards will be up, right?"  
It had been a while since I arched my eyebrow to form my "seriously?" face, but this felt like an appropriate time to pull it. I knew what Mark was up to. There was a display board in every department with photos of the staff working there. He wanted to go up to check out our new colleagues, picking out the ones he thought "had potential".

**The Hospital**

As much as I had tried to resist complying to Mark, I found myself following him up to the new wing on our lunch break.  
We jerked open the double doors, ignoring the "RESTRICTED ENTRY" signs. I breathed in the fresh "new" smell - it wouldn't be long until that hospital smell invaded the room.  
I noticed it was a lot bigger than the ortho department and it took us just a few seconds of walking around to realised what the Haygrove department was. It was the new paeds unit - the walls were decorated in a jungle theme and the rooms were all painted funky colours instead of the usual hospital blue.  
I was too busy taking in the surroundings to help Mark look for the display board and it was only after he called me name that I realised he was no longer in my eyesight.

"Callie. CALLIE OVER HERE."  
I swivelled on my heel and followed the shouting - Mark was just so darn impatient. I turned the corner and found Mark standing in front of the staff photos.

"Hey look - look at that one, she's just the splitting image of Yang." His fingers continued to move from face to face as he renamed our new workmates. His hand traced over a particularly stern looking woman, "I bet that's Hahn 2.0. Better keep away from her!" He nudged me in the ribs.

I hadn't thought about Erica for a long while - I had been too busy being bitter and angry at my parents and truth be told, I was probably guilty of blocking out the part of my brain that remembered her.  
Yes, at first, I thought the same as Mark. She was, to be frank, an icy bitch when we first met - it was almost as if she went out of her way to cause trouble for everyone else. But even though she did have a somewhat cold exterior, she was soft on the inside. She became one of my best friends at SGMW, much to Mark's jealousy and eventually, lovers and as much as she hated him, she was fine with my friendship with Mark - something that most of my previous partners weren't cool with.  
Our relationship was something we had sacrificed for our own freedom. I couldn't stay in Seattle anymore and that was something she blamed Mark for, but she was wrong - it was completely my decision to come with him here, to leave her behind.  
She just loved her God damn career too much to up sticks and move - we never really stood a chance.  
The breakup was still quite raw for me. I knew there would never be another Erica for me to love and I would never love anyone in the same desperate way I loved her.

Mark's laugh created a weird oxymoron in my head, between what I was hearing and what I was thinking.

"HAHAHAHAHA, some people just don't photograph well do they," his finger pointed at one of the nurses, "and look at all these -"

I snapped. I yelled. My temper and anguish got the better of me and I had only just stopped myself from raising my palm to his face.  
I immediately turned away from him. The sudden outburst had frightened him and it had frightened me too.  
I knew he didn't mean to make me upset, but it was his insensitivity that caused me to react in this way. He attempted to pull me closer to him, but I edged away just out of his reach.

"Callie... what's the matter? Are you ok? Was it something I said?"  
I didn't say anything. He didn't deserve an answer to those questions. With Erica still fresh in my mind, I would be angry at him for a while. I quickly brushed away a tear on my cheek.  
Footsteps came racing from around the corner - someone must have heard my shouts.

"Excuse me! What the _hell_ are you two doing here? Did you not see the signs?"  
Mark nudged me to try and get me to face the direction the voice was coming from, but I remained facing the opposite way.

Mark gulp loudly and took in a deep breath before he spoke in an assertive manner.

"Arizona Robbins, we meet again."

Oh God.  
Oh God, oh God, oh God - what was she doing here?  
I didn't want her seeing me like this - I had already acted like a total idiot when we first met, I didn't want her think that I was an actual moron. I hastily wiped away all the other escaping tears and turned around to look at the other two.

"That's DOCTOR Arizona Robbins to you Sloan." She called from the end of the corridor and then marched closer to us, soft blonde curls swinging from side to side.  
I looked at her for a moment - there was nothing to tell us that she was a doctor, no scrubs, no name tag, no stethoscope. My eyes turned to Mark's face and saw him form a puzzled look of disbelief as she strode up beside him.

"I'm right there," she tiptoed and pointed to the top of the display board, "see?"  
Her photo stared back at us and it only took a split second for both Mark and I to read what it said underneath her picture.

'DOCTOR A. ROBBINS, CONSULTANT PAEDIATRIC SURGEON'

She smiled sweetly at Mark's disgruntled face and turned around to look at me. Clearly noticing my red eyes and flushed cheeks, she looked back a Mark to silently ask whether he had been the source of my tears. I neither nodded nor shook my head.

"Doctor Sloan, don't you have work to be doing or do you spend the whole day being where you're not wanted?" She looped her arm into his, gently and led him out of the department.  
I could hear his attempts to convince her her that he was still on his lunch break fade, before hearing the sounds of a solitary pair of feet coming back to me.  
As much as I loved him, sometimes Mark would just get a little too much - sometimes he would push boundaries a bit too far. My lips curved into a small smile and I internally thanked Arizona for getting rid of him.

"I haven't even started work here yet and I have already had to deal with that bonehead twice. Is he always like that?"  
I couldn't bring myself to defend Mark and so slowly nodded to affirm her opinion of him.  
Correctly guessing that I didn't really want to talk about what had just happened, Arizona twirled to face the display board. Her eyes glazed over the photos of her soon-to-be paeds team.

"I know I said I'd see you soon, but I didn't realise it would be _this_ soon," I watched her dimples appear, "but don't get me wrong, it's nice to see you."  
She turned back to look at me, her locks gently brushing my face. Coconut - her hair smelled like coconut.

"I'd really like to talk to you some more, but I've got to get on exploring my new home... I missed Teddy's tour the other day." Her eyes wandered around the area.  
I saw this as my cue to leave and I took a few steps in the direction of the exit, but she grabbed my arm, causing me to turn and face her. She pulled me in for a tight, unexpected hug that left me lingering for more - it was a little too short for my liking. Our faces were just a few inches apart.

"You know," she said, releasing me from our embrace, "you shouldn't take any shit from Mark Sloan. I know pleeeennnttty of guys like him."

"He's al-"

"Just let me know when he's getting too much for you, I reckon I could easily take him," she playfully threw a couple of punches in the air, "he's not as strong as he looks."  
I let out a laugh and her little divots reappeared on her face.  
Yes, I had decided. I definitely liked her best when she flashed me those dimples.

**The Hospital's Car Park**

A few hours had passed since I had last seen Mark in the paeds wing. He was sat in his car waiting for me so that we could make our way home. I opened the passenger door and was unexpectedly inundated with apologies.

"I'm sorry Callie. I shouldn't have been so insensitive..."

"I didn't mean to make you upset, I was just messing around..."

"You know me Callie, I'd never do anything to hurt you intentionally..."  
I brushed off his apologies.

"It's fine Mark, I..." I paused, trying to find the right word, " overreacted."  
The truth was, I would have probably still been angry at Mark had it not been for Arizona. Something about her had cooled me down when my burning temper got the better of me.  
He put his arm carefully around my shoulders as if to call a truce and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek, before starting the car.

"Well, I did not expect to see _her_ again, especially at the hospital... And now we have to work with her!" He sighed lightly, "She's way too big for her boots. You can't just march in and boss everyone about you know?"

I sighed too, "Mark, we were in a restricted area... In her department."

He ignored my comment, "You should have heard the lecture she gave me down the hall." His voice took on a high womanly tone,  
""Stop dragging Callie into your stupid escapades, she doesn't need a douchebag like you bossing her around" yadda yadda."  
He glanced at me, "But she doesn't know a thing about us, does she? What we have here," his hand moved back and forth in the space between us, "it works, doesn't it?"

"Y-yes, yes Mark."  
I watched a great big smile beam off his face.

"It's just as well she works in paeds isn't it? It means we'll hardly see her. Blondie doesn't need her ego boosting again after she yelled at us two."  
As much as it disappointed me to admit, Mark was right. I probably wouldn't see her as much as I would have hoped, but even if I wouldn't be seeing her much physically, I knew that mentally, in my thoughts, I would be seeing her a whole lot more.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note - You guys were right, it was about time I cut Mark out of the story (sort of). He and Teddy were only supposed to be catalysts but I guess I ended up focusing on them a little too much!  
This chapter was a pain and a half to write but I hope you enjoy!

A Better Woman

It gave me great pleasure to find out that Mark was, in fact wrong.  
With the new department bringing in more broken bones and burn cases, we were spending more time than we had expected up in the paeds wing. It was hard not to bump into Arizona - she always seemed to be everywhere, all at once.  
Though, Mark only had to put up with her for a couple of days. He had since been away up north working with a burns unit and wouldn't be back for a few weeks, so he was spared any further run-ins with that my work load had grown quite substantially since the Haygrove opened, it wasn't an uncommon thing for me to eat lunch on the go, or to skip it completely, but having sent a patient off to x-ray, I decided to seize the opportunity for a proper lunch, even if it was only going to be about 15 minutes long. Turning out of the queue, I spotted Teddy at our usual table in the cafeteria, along with Arizona, and they both waved me over to join them.

"Your timing is awful Callie." Teddy stood up and took a large finishing slurp of her smoothie, before disappearing into the sea of people.  
I opened up my salad bowl and began to eat. There was a silence between the two of us, not because we couldn't hold up a conversation together, but because I honestly had nothing to say to her, and I thought she had nothing to say to me. For a few minutes, we sat happily and comfortable in each other's company without the utterance of a single word. Abruptly breaking our muteness, she spoke.

"So, any plans for tonight then Calliope?"  
Even though I clearly remembered introducing myself to her as Callie Torres all those weeks ago, she somehow fell into the habit of calling me by my proper name. It was something that would normally annoy me, something I associated with my parents and my childhood, but for some reason she managed to get away with it. In fact, I almost _liked _her calling me Calliope - it sounded like a short tuneful melody whenever she said it.  
As for the question she asked, I wasn't sure if she was just asking out of politeness in an attempt to strike up a conversation, or whether she was genuinely interested in my plans for the evening. In the past, saying that I had no plans would often lead to me being roped into doing some sort of favour for someone, so this time, I was determined to be a little more careful.

"I have a surgery scheduled at 5..." As I took another bite of lunch, my eyes searched her face for a clue as to what she was up to, but they saw nothing, "Why?"

A smile spread across her face, "You'll be done way before 9 then, won't you?"

Her smile seemed infectious, because one soon formed on my face too, "Isn't 9 a little late for a date?" I laughed.  
Her dimples disappeared quicker than they had formed and her cheeks blushed. She lowered her head slightly, letting her blonde locks fall forward to cover her face. Shit... That couldn't be what she was building up to... Could it?

"I... Uh, no. Well, I -"  
She lifted her head back up so that her eyes met mine. The pinkness in her cheeks faded a little as she tried to compose herself.  
"I'm having a party to celebrate the opening of Haygrove. Tonight. 9pm," She glanced at the wall clock, obviously desperate to leave, "Sparkly themed. Sequins -"  
Thankfully, her beeper broke our stilting conversation and she quickly pushed herself off of her chair, our eyes still glued to each others.

"Wait." I gripped her hand as she reached for her lunch tray, "Where is it?"

"At our house. Mine and Teddy's."  
I released her from my hold and my eyes followed her out of the cafeteria, just as they had done the first time I had seen her.  
I sat alone for a while after Arizona left, finishing off the rest of my lunch. I still had a few minutes before I had to get back up to the paeds wing, so I had a little time to go over in my mind what had just happened.  
Even in the moment of pure awkwardness, I couldn't help but notice how cute Arizona was when she stuttered. I had never seen her like that before, with flushed cheeks, stumbling over her words. It reminded me to some extent that she was _human_- not this perfect angel-like being that I had portrayed her as in my head, like some sort of flawless goddess.  
But why did she clam up so much? The Arizona I was used to would have taken it in her stride. If a small joke could fluster her like that, then perhaps she wasn't as self assured and confident as I thought she was. I thought I had made it clear that it was a joke with my laugh, but obviously not.  
The rest though, Arizona being Teddy's housemate, made sense. It explained the pink unicorn on the mantelpiece, the smiley picture on the coffee table. I should have known straight away.

The remainder of my shift went by incredibly slowly. It was a pretty quiet afternoon on the patient front, which meant my mind was free to wonder but it just kept coming back to the same thing - the party. I seriously considered skipping it in favour of an early night. Maybe we needed a little time to get over that... little hiccup. I didn't want to make it any more awkward than it already was. Did she think I was a total big headed moron for assuming that she was actually asking me out on a date? Did she not get my sense of humour? I don't know - is it a British thing to always take things so... literally?

_You need to get a grip Torres...  
_Mark's voice echoed in my brain.

_Why do you even care what she thinks of you anyway?_  
I heard that question so clearly in my head that I looked around to see if Mark was really there, but there was no one around the nurses station except for me. The only sounds that filled the department was the rhythmic beeping of the machinery and the quiet whisper of voices from inside the rooms.  
I had spent most of my life trying to please everybody, but I had given up years ago and I quite honestly lived very happily not giving a damn about what people thought of me but for some reason, she was an exception. I didn't know why, but I knew her opinion of me mattered.

**Teddy and Arizona's House**

I hesitantly knocked on the front door. I had been here many times before as a guest of Teddy's, but this was my first time as one of Arizona's.  
How long would it take for her to answer the door? Did I have enough time to leave unnoticed? The front door suddenly swung open and, with as few words as possible, we greeted each other. I handed Arizona a few cans of beer and she ushered me in.

And to be honest, that's all I really remembered. I woke up the next morning on their couch in the lounge, to the smell of coffee. I threw off the throw that had been covering me and forced myself to sit upright. My hair glittered when the sequins tangled in my hair caught the sunlight that broke in through the gaps in the blinds."Morning Callie." A plain faced Teddy stood in the doorway, holding out a steaming mug. I took it gratefully and sipped it slowly whilst combing out a few sequins out of my hair with my fingers.

"You're looking a little rough today."  
I caught my reflection in the mirror above the fireplace. Rough was an understatement, Teddy was just trying to be polite. I let out a nervous laugh and tried to smooth down my wild hair.

"What... happened?" I asked, hesitantly.

"I'm not surprised you can't remember. Is that how you normally party back in Seattle?" Her smile disappeared when she noticed that I wasn't in the mood for banter and quickly got on with telling me what happened the night before.

"Well, it didn't take long for you to get the party started. You were knocking back drinks like nobody's business. Then you got a little rowdy and started shouting at people," That explained my sore throat then, "so we shut you in 'Zona's room, hoping you'd sober up a bit."

_The tangle of arms lowered me gently onto the bed._  
"_No, let me go back. I want to go back."_  
_They ignored what I was saying and turned to the door to leave. I reached out a hand for them, but they both stood in the doorway, out of my grasp.  
"It's ok Calliope, we'll be back in 20 minutes."_  
_The door shut behind them and I heard their muffled voices outside._

"You were really quiet up there, so she went to go and check up on you, she thought you had passed out or something."

_I heard a soft whisper as the front door opened, followed by a few soft steps towards the bed._

"_Calliope," I felt the bed drop slightly as she sat down behind me and a hand ran through my hair, "are you alright? Do you need a bucket?"_  
_I shook my head and rolled over to face her. She looked back at me with those piercing blue eyes. I sat up so that I was now face to face with her._

"_Are you sure? Let me just go and fetch -"_  
_I grabbed her wrist tightly to anchor her to the bed with me._

"_No."_I remembered the dominant tone in which I spoke and although I was naturally a fairly assertive person, that tone was one I used very rarely. It felt as though something else was possessing me, something else was controlling my actions, because I certainly didn't voluntarily grasp her arm.  
I had never been like that before, and I struggled to find the cause of it. Was it the alcohol? It didn't seem like it. Was it rage? No.  
I must be going crazy, I thought to myself, because it felt like I was acting out of lust.

Teddy hadn't noticed that I had stopped listening to her, I had been vacantly watching her mouth move, but no sound was coming out. It wasn't until she placed her empty mug on the table that I started listening to her again.

She shrugged, "I can't say what happened between the two of you, but 'Zona came running down the stairs looking pretty mad. You came back down a little while afterwards and plonked yourself right there," She gestured to the couch I was sat on, "and fell asleep. I've never known anyone to sleep on the sofa in the middle of a party. People were dancing all around you, the music was blaring, you are truly..."  
That, I didn't remember. I didn't remember doing anything to make Arizona angry. Was it because I had grabbed her arm? Did I say something to offend her?

"... worried about you. She ended up sleeping on the other sofa to keep an eye on you, just in case."

I didn't know whether talking to Teddy had been a help or a hindrance, though I knew it definitely left me more confused about how I felt about Arizona.  
I always knew that there was something about her that caught my eye but I could never pinpoint what. It was a little crush, something I would never act on, but having taken her hand when we were alone in that manner, I was beginning to think that perhaps this crush was developing into something else.  
Nothing about her told me that she was into girls at all - maybe she got a bit freaked out because I was a woman? Maybe she wasn't used to jokes of that nature from other women? Perhaps it would have been different is I was, say, Mark Sloan.  
Actually, no. I smiled as I remembered their first meeting. She couldn't possibly be interested in Mark judging by her reaction to his come on. But that was beside the point - maybe she just wasn't attracted to women and I had made her uncomfortable.  
Besides, she made it plain to me that she wasn't interested in me anyway. Surely, if she had been interested, she would have seize the opportunity of asking me out on a date when she had the chance to, when I had _jokingly_suggested that she was.  
But the feelings I was left with didn't make any sense to me at all. Why was I attracted to her?  
Sure, Arizona was beautiful. Every single person could appreciate that, but she was most certainly not my type. She was so... cheerful, gliding around the hospital all smiles as if she was being fuelled by happiness. I was more into those who were a little 'rough around the edges', but Arizona was so clean and polished... And she was all I could think about.

**Hospital**

The next few days after the party, I tried to lay low on the social radar. I avoided the cafeteria at lunch like the plague, and I was very cautious wandering along the corridors, tiptoeing around the paeds department like I was bloody 007 on a mission.  
I just didn't want to run into her just yet. I needed time to think up an apology and a thank you.  
It was strange, because whilst I was avoiding Arizona, I was pretty sure she was avoiding me too. One afternoon, I stepped out of a treatment room and having forgotten to see whether the coast was clear beforehand, I accidently caught sight of Arizona at the end of the corridor, just about to turn the corner towards me. She saw me too and I took a step back into the room and she dashed back around the corner.

I didn't know how long I could keep this up for. It was only going to be a matter of time before we were going to bump into each other and it happened in the elevator one evening.  
I was making my way down to the cafeteria to get a coffee, in an attempt to stay awake. It had been a long day.

"Hold the door please!"  
The porter who was in the elevator with me obeyed. Arizona bounced in and smiled sweetly at the man to express her thanks. Our eyes met briefly and we both internally sighed and the elevator descended.  
We all stood in silence until we hit the third floor. The porter stepped out and the two of us were now left alone. The silence continued.  
Not wanting to seem like an unapologetic idiot, I opened my mouth to speak. Without a speech prepared, I knew that all that would spew out of me would be gobbledygook.

"I'm sorry, I was a total jerk - I - alcohol - not normally like this - promise!"  
She smiled feebly. My apology wasn't good enough. I sighed a little more loudly than I had intended to.

"I didn't mean to upset you."  
The elevator pinged and she dashed out, hoping to shake me off, but I managed to keep up with her strides.

"Arizona..." I reached out to place my hand on her shoulder.  
She shrugged me off and muttered something inaudible and strode off to the cafeteria. I paused and gave her a few seconds head start, before following.  
I stood behind her quietly in the queue and having paid for my drink, I waited until she had chosen her seat before coming over to her. I took the seat opposite her and to my surprise, she made no protests.

"Are you mad at me?" My eyes searched her face for some clue as to what I had done.  
She sighed a little and refused to meet my gaze...

"What happened the other night?" I whispered, even though there was no one else around us.

"You don't remember anything do you?"

"Oh, no I-I do! I remember you and Teddy putting me on the bed. I remember you coming up and - the bucket!" I saw a frown form on her face. My voice lowered into an even soft whisper, "You were going to get a bucket."  
She placed her hands controllingly on the table as if we were in an interrogation room, as if she was trying to crack me open to reveal all my darkest secrets.

"And after?"

"No... Nothing after. Teddy said you were upset with me."

"I was upset with myself actually." She snapped rudely.  
I fell silent, hoping she would explain herself, but she didn't speak for a few moments. I was just about to say something, hoping to coax something out of her, but she spoke.

"We're friends aren't we?" She looked at me and flashed a rather unconvincing smile.

"Yeah... sure." I said warily. I had been expecting some sort of rant at me, explaining why she was angry, but the sudden turn in our conversation left me unsure of where it was going.

"No. I don't mean workmates who are just say "hey" in the corridor because it's polite. I mean proper real friends." She said, a little curtly.  
This was the first time I had realised that the only "proper real friend" I had made here since moving was... Teddy. Everyone else I considered as colleagues, who were nice enough, but I had never really made an effort to expand my social circle. I was happy being the third wheel in Mark and Teddy's relationship and I didn't think it necessary for any of that to change.  
It took me a little while to respond, because I was struggling to find something to say back to her. She calmly sipped at her drink as she waited patiently for my reply, smiling weakly as though she was ready for a rejection.  
Is this how she made friends? By asking them if they wanted to be friends? This was all very... childlike, almost kindergarten of her.

"Proper... real friends?" I paused, unsure of how to progress, "Ok... Then we'd have to do things that proper friends do."

Her eyebrow raised, "Like what?"  
I knew very well that she knew the answer to her own question. It was as though Arizona was reluctant to suggest things we could do together, as if she wanted _me_ to suggest some things we could do together.

"Well, we could get something to eat or watch a movie?"

"Calliope Torres, are you asking me out on a date?" Her lips curved up into a larger smile, with her dimples faintly forming in her cheeks.

"Since when did friends date?" I winked at her, hoping that the little bump in our friendship had been smoothed over.


	6. Chapter 6

A Better Woman

For a little meal between two friends, I was actually feeling pretty nervous and although I knew my relationship with Arizona was definitely limited to friendship, I couldn't help but notice the familiar feeling of first date jitters - what if we had nothing in common? What if we had nothing to talk about?  
I had never really had the opportunity to speak to her about anything other than hospital related stuff, except for that weird conversation in the cafeteria the other day...

I stood on the driveway just outside my house, waiting for Arizona to come. It was freezing cold and she was already at least 15 minutes late. I fumbled around in my bag looking for my housekey - it would have been wiser to wait indoors for her, instead of standing out in the cold.  
As I turned to put my key in the lock, I heard Arizona's car pull up behind me. I ran towards the car, lunged for the door handle and scrambled inside, desperate to escape the cold.

"Hey!" Arizona's voice chirped as my seatbelt clicked, "You look nice!"

"And you look great!"  
I smiled before frantically rubbing my arms to try and get some blood circulating.

Arizona threw me a sideways glance, "You should have wrapped up a little warmer though."

"You should have got here sooner." I shot her a scowl but she returned it with a playful cheeky smile.

"Sorry, I couldn't decided what shoes to wear. It's a nightmare driving in heels, you know?"  
I leaned over to get a better look of what she was wearing on her feet.

"Slippers? Seriously Arizona?" I stifled a laugh, but catching her beaming face, I let it burst out of me with a snort.

* * *

We got out of the car and I walked over across the road to the entrance of the restaurant.

"Wait... Wait! Let me change my sho- Urahh!"  
I turned back to find Arizona supporting herself unsteadily on her car as she tried to switch her bright pink fluffy slippers for her sky-high heels. I couldn't help but grin at her wobbling as she struggled to put her shoes on, but having succeeded, she stood upright and walked towards me with her blonde curls bouncing on her shoulders.  
To be honest, the compliment I had paid in the car was automatic, just out of politeness - I couldn't really see what she was wearing. It was only after we had stepped out of the car that I could fully appreciate how gorgeous she was. She looked breathtakingly amazing in that dress, which nipped in all the right places to show off her impressive figure. And my God, those legs. Those seemingly endless legs.  
As I stood there gawking at her, captivated, I totally ignored what she had been saying.

"Calliope?" She waved her hand in my face in an attempt to get my attention.  
I snapped back into reality and felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment. Thankfully, she couldn't have noticed because I was backlit by a streetlamp.

"Let's go!"  
And with great gusto, she linked her arm around mine and led me into the restaurant.

I felt stupid for doubting our ability to hold up a conversation outside of work, because it seemed like we had known each other all our lives. The only time there was silence between us was when we paused for breath and I had a feeling that we were annoying the rest of our fellow diners with our constant laughter.  
We talked about everything and nothing, from favourite movies to embarrassing incidents and silly anecdotes of our childhoods. She managed to coax out of me stories that I had never told anyone before, not even Mark.

"Let me get that." Arizona snatched the check from the table before I could even move. I frowned at her and tried to pull it back.

"Arizona..." I gripped my fingers tightly around the leather sleeve, "You know you said you wanted to be friends..." She nodded as she pulled her purse out from her bag, still holding on to the check, "Well, friends split the check. If you paid for me, then it would be..."

Arizona sighed and finished off my sentence, "A date."  
I smiled weakly as she released the check from her hand and set it back onto the table between that little hiccup, everything else was perfect. I had had good food, with good company and that made for a great night and so, I got back in the car feeling quite satisfied. Well, except for the little niggle in the back of my mind.  
_Why are you doing this to yourself Callie?_

**Home**

"Thanks."  
Arizona was sat at my kitchen table, twirling her hair with her fingers when I handed her a mug of coffee.

"Tonight was fun."

She nodded in agreement as she took a sip, before placing her mug on the table with a great big grin on her face, "Yes, tonight was awesome, Calliope. Thank you."  
I couldn't stop my lips from curling up into a smile when she said 'awesome' and 'Calliope'. It was like those two words were made for her to say. In fact, if I could hear her say those words all day long, for the rest of time, my life would be complete.

"You know... I thought it would be awkward between -"

"Don't say that!" She leant over the table to place her index finger on my lips, silencing me, "You'll jinx it!"  
My mouth formed a little smile underneath her finger and she fell back into her seat.

But she sighed heavily and the atmosphere changed suddenly. Sensing the change of tone in the room, I immediately wiped the smile off my face and watched her closely, hoping that she could somehow, telepathically, tell me what she was thinking but I guess telepathy was not a skill I had mastered yet.  
I was desperately praying that she would speak first, because I had no freaking idea what to say to her. There was obviously something on her mind - should I address the situation directly and ask if she was alright? Or should I sidestep it altogether and ask if she wanted a house tour, or a coffee refill?  
I decided against saying anything at all, hoping that she would open her mouth to speak soon. However, instead she decided to let us endure the awkwardness a little while longer. Why was her face so goddamn hard to read? At times she looked like she was going to burst into laughter and at other times... Well, if looks could kill.  
She finally began to talk, but the tone in her voice matched the atmosphere - somewhat cold and tense.

"You know what?" She paused as if she was actually expecting an answer from me, "I have great self control. Awesome, in fact."  
I raised a brow at her odd choice of wording whilst my mind frantically tried to understand what she was talking about, how her brain had basically jumped into a totally different conversation. She saw the puzzled look on my face and quickly justified her comment.

"It's really _really_hard to resist temptation isn't it?" She paused once more and again it felt like she was asking me a real question, "You're like…"  
Arizona leapt out of her chair and began pacing up and down the kitchen. My eyes followed her back and forth.

"You're like candy!" Her finger began wagging in my face, "And I'm like a kid, and... I'm not allowed to have you because, you know, sweets are bad for you and they rot your teeth and all. But I can just imagine how sweet and sugary you taste and I just want to... I just want to..."  
She stood still for a second with a look of deep concentration on her face as she tried to find the right word.

"Numnumnum."

"What?" At first I thought I had misheard her or that she was mumbling something, but she repeated it, in a loud and clear voice.

"Numnumnum. I just want to... Eat you up."

"Wait, I'm still the candy right? Else you can get the hell out of here, 'cause I'm not in the mood to be eaten tonight!"  
Arizona crinkled her nose and tried to hide the big smile that was breaking out onto her face.

"Come on Calliope, I'm trying to be serious here." She said, having successfully removed her smile.  
I gingerly stood up and she took a step closer to me. Even though we were only a few inches apart, I could barely hear her speak.

"I thought that if I could make it through tonight, the I would be able to control myself, but it's just... Just impossible... I-I can't!" She clenched her fists in frustration and lowered and shook her head, "I can't."  
Although I now had a good idea of what she was alluding to, I didn't want to make the assumption.

"Can't what?"

"I can't resist the candy."  
I placed my hand on her chin and forced her head up so that her eyes met mine.

"What if the candy doesn't want to be resisted?" I raised my eyebrow flirtatiously, but to my surprise she backed off, taking a few steps back.

"Calliope..." Her voice trailed off and she sighed, "You have no idea what you do to me! Heck, I have no idea what you do to me either! It's... It's driving me crazy!" She flung her arms up in the air in despair, "And I know - I know that you don't feel it too because you would be going mad as well!"

"How do you know that I'm not going mad too? How do you know that I don't feel the same thing?"

"Well, is your highlight of the day bumping into me on the corridor? Do you find yourself daydreaming about me? Does it feel like I'm carrying your fucking heart around with me wherever the fuck I go?"  
I didn't respond and waited for her to continue - hoping that she would carry on with her confession, but my lack of response caused the look of disappointment to invaded her face. The expression was almost unnatural on her and it was a look I never wanted to see again.

"I knew you didn't feel it too."

"No, no, no, no, no," I took two paces so that we were again, almost touching.  
I grabbed Arizona's wrists with the now familiar burn of passion and looked her in the eye, before wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close to me in a tight embrace.

"I feel it. I feel it. I feel it too."

* * *

I woke up with a start, to the sound of aggressive banging downstairs. I leapt out of the bed and glanced at the alarm clock before shooting down the stairs to see what all the commotion was about.  
Who the fuck knocks on the door at four in the bloody morning?  
I opened the door to find a rather disgruntled Mark standing outside. I swung the door open a little wider to let him in and allowed it to slam itself shut. He murmured something about losing his key, but I was not in the mood to deal with him. I didn't even care why he was home two weeks early.  
Sleep deprived and a somewhat emotional wreck, I climbed back up the stairs to get some more sleep, but it seemed like Mark had other ideas.

"Stupid bitch." He muttered under his breath, "Stupid motherfucking bitch."  
I turned at the top of the staircase and marched back down. I so did not want to have to deal with Mark so early in the morning, but I was left with no choice - I needed to put the diva in him back in check.  
Firmly planting my palm on his cheek, he staggered backwards having not anticipated my slap.

"What was that for?!" Holding held his cheek as he spat his words angrily at me.

"_That _was for calling me a stupid bitch!" I hissed and I stormed back up the stairs.  
I landed back in my bed and pulled the cover over my head. Tomorrow was going to be a very long descended the stairs for my morning coffee, I saw Mark with his head in his hands in the kitchen. It was obvious that he hadn't slept a wink.  
Taking my mug and sitting opposite him, I waited for him to speak, whilst casually perusing a magazine.

"Fuck sake Callie, it's still hurting." He looked at me between his fingers, "You've had too much practice."  
I didn't say a word but continued to flick through the magazine.

"They sent me back here," he whispered, "said that I was 'no longer needed', but that's bullshit. It wasn't even my fault!"  
I knew that he wanted me to ask him what wasn't his fault and not wanting to cause another fight, I indulged him.

"What wasn't your fault Mark?" I asked, a little lamely.

"A patient's mom kept hitting on me. I got kicked off the case because they thought _I_was being inappropriate." He hammered his fist angrily on the table, "That ungrateful cow! I practically saver her kids life!"  
I got up to pour Mark a coffee and he continued to share with me the injustice he had experienced. Having ranted to his heart's content, he paused and looked up at me.

"What's up with you?"

"Huh?"

"Well, I haven't seen you in a while... So, what's new?"  
I wasn't sure whether I wanted to share everything that had happened between Arizona and I with Mark. To be honest, I thought it would have been best to just let Mark lick his wounds, but before I could stop myself, I had already begun telling him what happened the night before.  
He sat in silence with an understanding look on his face, but he narrowed his eyes and jabbed his finger straight at me.

"I told you!"

"What?"

He let out a little snort, "I told you! I called it ages ago! She's a lesbian! I knew she was a lost cause!"  
I arched my eyebrow. Mark had plenty of time to gloat as much as he wanted, but now was not the right time.

"So now what?"

I shrugged, "She said that it would be better if we were just friends."

"What!? Wasn't _she_the one who started confessing her _undying love _for you?" I raised my brow again as he mocked our situation and he quickly added, "How do you feel about it?"

"I'm... I'm relieved." Mark frowned and gestured for me to elaborate, "I thought... That it was just me, but now I know that it's not... Just me."

"What about the friends part?"

"It's not going to be easy, that's for sure."  
He placed his hand on my arm reassuringly.

"Wait. Let me get this straight." He retracted his hand and folded his arms together, "You like her and she likes you right?"  
I nodded.

"Then why aren't you guys together yet?"

"I don't know Mark," I agonised, "I don't bloody know!"

**The Hospital**

I knew that it couldn't have been easy for her to come to the conclusion that we were better off as just friends and nothing more, and whilst I had agreed to our arrangement, I couldn't help but regret the decision we had made."Oi, Blondie!" Mark busted open the department doors and called out for Arizona, "Where do you want me?"  
His voice carried all the way down the hall so that I could hear him at the nurses station. Arizona's head appeared out of a room and I watched the two of them closely. She stepped out and placed her hands on her hips.

"Blondie? Really? You're going with Blondie?"  
Mark shot her a cheeky smile as she turned and walked down the corridor towards me, with Mark following a few steps behind. She smiled weakly when she noticed that I had been watching them. I quickly ducked my head to concentrate on the work I was supposed to be doing, but I still listened intently.

"Don't think I haven't noticed those grey hairs of yours Sloan, you old man."  
My head immediately bobbed back up and I saw Mark's eyes widen in shock. He obviously hadn't expected any backchat.

"Hey, that was a bit uncalled for, wasn't it?"  
Arizona twirled on the spot to face him.

"Nothing you can't take, old guy." She playfully patted his cheek and pointed to a room across the hall, "7-32, nasty incident with a kettle. File's on the side." She pointed at the table where I was sat, "I'll be there in a second." She then vanished into a different room, dimples clear on her face.  
Mark approached me, rubbing the side of his face.

"Stronger than she looks actually." I raised my brow but he smirked, "Has she been taking lessons from you?"  
Grabbing the file, he disappeared into room 7-32.I thought, now that Mark was back, that he would add a layer of protection against Arizona - a distraction from my otherwise constant daydreams about her, but I couldn't have been more wrong. It seemed as though all their bickering had developed into a mutual respect for one another, which in turn had formed the most unlikeliest of friendships, much to my despair.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note - I can't deny them any longer.

A Better Woman

Having just completed my seemingly endless week of graveyard shifts, I made my way up to the changing rooms to get out of my scrubs. It was now... 6am and the corridors were silent, except for my footsteps echoing down the hall. I quickened my pace as I relished the idea of spending the whole day catching up on some much needed sleep.  
I pushed the door wide open and caught sight of a figure sat in the corner of the dark room, with its knees brought up to its face, forming a tight ball. I immediately knew that my long awaited sleep marathon would have to wait a little while longer but despite being exhausted and emotionally drained, I felt a sudden burst of energy surge through my veins and I launched into a tirade that I had been rehearsing in my head for the last couple of days.

"I don't get it! I -"  
The shadow lifted its head to look at me and I heard its familiar voice.

"Don't get what?"  
I hadn't anticipated the interruption and I lost my train of thought. Trying to buy myself a little more time, I turned and flicked on the switch. Light flooded the room, illuminating Arizona's face and revealing her confused frown. I took a second to catch my breath - I never knew pigtail braids could be so... So hot.

"_This_! Us!" I hesitated as Arizona stood up and took a few paces closer to me, "You like me and I like you. Why are we _together _yet?!"  
Arizona's frown transformed into a puzzled and somewhat irritated expression.

"Because Calliope, we are not children. Relationships are more complicated than the whole 'you like me and … I like you'."

"Well what's complicated about us? We don't even _have _a relationship to make complicated! You should stop denying us something that could be so great, that's so inevitable to happen!"

"Calliope..."

"No." I cut her off rudely, "We both _know _it's going to happen. Just. Take. The. Freaking. Candy."  
She averted her gaze to the floor and refused to meet my eye.

"I just need... Reassurance."

"About what?" I furrowed my brows and folded my arms angrily across my chest.

"You really can't remember anything from the party can you?"  
God, I knew that was going to come back and bite me on the ass. I shook my head slowly and began apologising profusely but she hushed me with a heavy sigh, before reluctantly filling in the gaps in my memory.  
But perhaps I wasn't as drunk as I thought I had been. It seemed like my brain only needed a gentle nudging before the memories came flooding back. Was it possible that I had subconsciously shunned the incident to the back of my head?

_I giggled flirtatiously as I pushed Arizona down onto the bed. I ran my hands through her long blonde hair as I leaned over her and lowered myself so that our lips were almost touching, but I pulled away as soon as I felt her body move into mine._  
_She let out a long sigh but her lips had already curved into a smile. I flipped my hair back and desperately tugged at the sides of my shirt. Successfully lifting it over my head, I threw it carelessly to the side and looked at her longingly._  
_We were frozen, locked in a long gaze but a sudden look of panic flashed over her eyes and before I knew it, she had tossed me off of her and was hastily putting my shirt back on me, cursing angrily to herself._

I stood deathly still until she finished. Now I understood - why she had been angry at herself, why she had been avoiding me and why she was now hesitant to embark on a relationship with me.

"Do you get it now? H-how do I know you're not just looking for a hookup?... Maybe you're just some straight chick looking for an experiment? And-and-and, we _work _together Calliope, what if it doesn't work out, then... Because I swear if you're just looking for a fling I'm going to come find you and kick your arse. I-I-I invest everything in a relationship. I _do not _want that to go to waste and..."  
She was speaking so fast that her words were beginning to mash together and her sentences were getting mangled. Who knew someone could be in such a panic and still be as cute as she was right now?

"... Don't want to get on a ship that's just going to sink…"  
I had so many responses in my head to questions but I couldn't bring myself to interrupt her in the middle of all this adorableness.  
She took a large breath that indicated the end of her rant and although I knew she was expecting a response with equal affliction, I calmly placed both hands on her shoulders and smiled at her confused expression.

"Let's just take this... One step at a time, ok? I want to be on this ship with you Arizona, knowing that there's a possibility of it sinking, but we're going to protect it. We're going to do everything we can to keep it afloat." My hands curled tighter around her arms, "This is our ship."  
I leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek, she closed her eyes and her dimples appeared.

"Our ship."

**Home**

"Alright, Torres," Mark smacked down his newspaper, folded his arms as I entered the kitchen and adopted his best fatherly tone, "what are you up to now?"

"Hhmm?"

"_You_, you're up to something. You're grinning like the Cheshire cat, so spill."  
I shrugged off his question.

"Do you want to do something today? Oooh let's go out for breakfast - no lunch! Oh wait, what about dinner?!"

"Ok seriously Callie, are you alright? You just got home from a late shift. It's..." He glanced at his watch, "Barely 7am. Did someone spike your coffee or something?"  
He was right. It was customary to follow up a late shift with a long sleep but I didn't feel like I needed it anymore. In fact, it felt like I had been woken from a deep slumber. I felt fresh and energised, totally invigorated.

"Callie? Callie stop doing that, you're weirding me out."  
I hadn't realised that my face had been frozen into a smile the entire time.

"I can't help it!"  
Mark pushed himself out of his seat and approached me. He squeezed my cheeks hard and I let out a yelp.

"There, that fixed that." He smirked as I grimaced, "I'm off to work, catch you later."  
He pushed past me and I heard the front door slam.  
My lips automatically curled back up into a smile.

"She got her candy! She got her candy!" I said, clapping excitedly.

* * *

A couple of days passed and I had still not seen Arizona since our meeting in the changing rooms. Sure, she was a busy bee, but I thought it was strange to not have seen her up in the paeds wing or in the cafeteria at lunch.  
But one afternoon, I saw Arizona bobbing her head up behind the huge mass of people, evidently looking for someone. When she caught sight of me, she returned my smile with a grin and skipped over towards us. Mark pulled out a chair for her as she sidled up to our lunch table.

"Hey, you guys, what are you two doing for Christmas?"  
I looked at Mark and he looked back at me. Was it almost Christmas already?  
Mark opened his mouth to speak but she carried on before he could properly respond.

"Great. You guys are coming over for the day. Teddy and I are going to cook you Christmas dinner. No. Excuses."  
Our eyes widened simultaneously. We had not forgotten the time Teddy had tried to cook for us, but as we both started to voice our objections, Arizona wagged her finger up at us.

"No. Excuses." Arizona put her hand on mine and squeezed it tightly, "See you guys later."  
I could feel Mark's eyes watching me as I watched her disappear out of the cafeteria.

"Ooookkk... So what was that?"  
When I was sure she had definitely gone, I turned back and shrugged casually.

"What was what?"

Mark rolled his eyes, "Don't play dumb with me Torres, are you and Blondie...?"

"I think so."

He lifted up his tray and playfully punched me in the arm, "Atta girl Callie! See ya."  
The people around me must have thought me mad, because nothing could wipe the massive beaming grin off my face.

**Home**

The remaining weeks till Christmas went by quickly and before I knew it, the day had arrived. Arizona and I had come to the agreement to wait until after the festivities to have our first "official" date.

"Morning! Merry Christmas."  
Mark pushed open my bedroom door carrying a food tray. Breakfast in bed was part our traditional Christmas morning.  
I moved over to accommodate Mark in my bed. He handed me a mug of coffee and reclined against the headboard.

"Nervous?"

"What's there to be nervous about?"

"Oh, nothing, I thought Arizona's parents were coming over or something?" Mark said, casually.

"What?"  
I had been under the impression that I would be spending Christmas with my two good friends and my girlfriend (wait, am I allowed to refer to her as my girlfriend? I made a mental note to find out), but it seemed as though other guests would be in attendance...

"... But that'll be fine. You've already met them, haven't you?"  
I guess that was true, I _had_ already met them as Dr. Callie Torres, but not Callie Torres, your daughter's 'girlfriend'. And besides, we had only been 'dating' for a couple of weeks, and in those weeks we had had barely any time to see each other - it just seemed a little bit premature to meet her parents already.

**Teddy and Arizona's House**

We walked up the path to their house and Mark turned to me in a panic.

"I smell burning."  
He darted up to the door and hammered it repeatedly. Arizona opened the door and very narrowly missed getting punched in the face by Mark's fist.

"Happy Christmas!" She held her arms open to hug him, but he muttered his greetings and thrusted a bag full of wine bottles into her hand before pushing past her and running into the kitchen.  
She shot a little scowl to the back of his head and kept her arms open to hug me.

"Hello, you!"

"Hey."  
She planted a kiss on my cheek and ushered me into her home, leading me into the kitchen.

"Well those are all ruined. And you can't possibly serve_that_! Gimme that. Let me show you."  
In the space of two minutes, he had dominated the whole situation in true Mark style. It wouldn't be long before Teddy started barking "yes chef" at him.  
Having said my hellos to Teddy, Arizona shut the kitchen door behind us and let me into the living room, which had now been decorated, even the already glittery pink unicorn had been wrapped in tinsel. I could tell Arizona took Christmas very seriously (well at least, on the decoration front). She was dressed in a festive red dress that made me a little weak at the knees, and of course, any of Arizona's outfits wouldn't be complete without a silly accessory, a little elf hat.

"Catch!"  
She tossed me over a matching hat. I cracked out into a laugh, but it faded away when I realised Arizona was being serious. I hesitantly put on the hat and saw the smile form on her face. If putting on this frankly ridiculous hat meant I could see those dimples, I would never take that darn thing off.

"Arizona..." I said, uneasily, "You never said your parents were coming..."  
She cocked her head to the side.

"Does that make you nervous?"

I frowned, "Well, yeah."

"Calliope," She took my hand in hers and stroked her thumbs along my knuckles, "it's just dinner. I'm not going to introduce you as my girlfriend, because this isn't the official _'hey Mum, hey Dad, this is my girlfriend'_ meeting, ok?"

My voice caught. "I'm your _girlfriend_?"

Arizona pursed her lips together and screwed up her nose, "Yes, well... I thought you -"  
I jerked my hand away from hers and wrapped my arms around her and she copied me so that we were in a tight tangled embrace. We both instinctively leaned in and our lips became locked in a passionate kiss. As we both rested our foreheads on each other's, I breathed in the smell that was so indescribably Arizona. It was as if it was the antidote to all my worries, my afflictions and my burdens - so long as I was wrapped up in Arizona's arms, and she in mine, I didn't have a single care in the world. I didn't care what anyone had to say about us. No one could tell me that we were acting "against God's will" or being "unnatural" because nothing I have ever done has felt as natural as my being with Arizona.


	8. Chapter 8

A Better Woman

I have always felt, with every relationship I have ever cared to embark on, that there has been an imbalance of investment and commitment. I've always felt like I've been the one who supports the relationship, the one who tries to keep it afloat, tries so hard to make it work, but of course, that has made me come across as an overly attached, bordering on needy, girlfriend. I couldn't help the fact that I wanted my relationships to succeed and that I fell in love so easily, but it was my "over commitment" that would often lead to the breakdown of the relationship. For years, the reputation I had inadvertently acquired was one I was ashamed of – the desperate and constantly broken hearted Callie Torres, whose personal life was always the subject of staff room gossip.

But, I thought to myself, that's going to change now. Long gone was the shame of the reputation I had held in Seattle – there were no feelings of embarrassment when I internally confessed to myself that I was falling head over heels in love with Arizona. I didn't care that we had only been together for a few weeks. I didn't care that we had not yet been on our first date. I didn't care that our first kiss had only happened a few seconds ago. What's the point in the denying how you feel to yourself? I was falling in love with her. I was falling in love with the awesome, beautiful, sunny, Arizona Robbins.

I know, I said to myself in response to the teeny tiny niggling thought in the back of my head, I know, I know, Arizona isn't the type of person that I'd normally go for, but there was this indescribable element about her, the je ne sais quoi, that made my heart strings pull tight, I'd be a fool to ignore it.

I felt the tugging deep in my chest every time I looked at here and every time I thought of her, and I knew, that with time, the pulling would grow stronger and eventually, it would never leave me.

As we stood blissfully in each other's arms, as I inhaled her sweet scent, as I took in her ethereal beauty, I knew that what we had was something that people search their whole lives for. How I found it instantly one fateful day in the hospital cafeteria was beyond me.

Arizona clasped her hand around one of mine, pulling me in for another sweet kiss. She ran her fingers through my hair and I instinctively copied her. If the rest of my life consisted of the last few minutes on repeat, I could die happy.

With our lips locked together and our hands tangled in each other's hair, we ignored the doorbell the first time. And the second time. I had hoped that one of the others would have answer the door, but when it rang again, we were forced to part.

"That'll be my parents." She whispered, as she left the room. I heard the familiar voices of Mr. and Mrs. Robbins as they entered the household, and I suddenly felt a pang of anxiety and nervousness. My breathing became shallow huffs and my palms became a little moist. Mr. Robbins bobbed his head around the living room door and having seen me, his face lit up.

"Doctor. Torres!" He swung the door open and lunged to grab my hand, shaking it vigorously.

"Dad, it's _Calliope_."

"Well, it's good to see you again _Calliope_." Mr. Robbins let go of my hand and my eyes passed from him to his wife, who was standing in the doorway beside her daughter. I managed to strangle out a couple of words to greet her, but I could feel my throat quickly closing up.

"Teddy and Mark are in the kitchen, why don't you say hello?" Arizona said sweetly whilst shooting me a concerned glance as her parents headed into the kitchen. Slumping back onto the couch, I slapped a palm on my forehead and sighed.

"What was all that about?" Arizona asked as shestood before me, her expression had changed to one of confusion with a hint of chagrin. I sat upright and sighed again.

"Oh nothing," I shrugged, "It's just that my girlfriend's _parents_ are in the next room, that's all. And you know, I think I would rather be eaten by bears right now, but it's nothing to worry about." Arizona immediately dropped her look of displeasure and replaced it with a small, somewhat reassuring smile, whilst wrinkling her nose at my snarky response.

"Calliope, you've met them already!" She knelt down to me and began to entwine her fingers around mine, "And I've already told you before, you're not meeting my parents as my girlfriend today."

Getting up off the couch, my fingers still curled around hers, I grunted with dissatisfaction,"I might as well be."

"Listen, they've already formed their opinion of you and they like you. So, just relax, ok?"

"Opinions can change!" I pulled my hands away from hers and placed them on my hips, "I never... Come off well in situations like these. Parents always think I'm so goofy and-and stupid andI'm always, so-so-so – why are you smiling?"

Arizona let out a little girlish giggle and gave me a quick peck on the cheek, "You know, you're so adorable when you're in a panic." I tilted my head to the side, folded my arms and pouted at her. She laughed again and planted another kiss on my other cheek. I had to surrender to the smile I could feel forming on my face.

God, how did she do it? I've been trying to figure out for years how to calm myself down when I got nervous or worked up, but Arizona comes along and does it almost instantly.

The strange thing was, it didn't even seem like she was trying all that hard to calm my nerves – she hadn't acted any differently from her usual disposition. It seemed like the effect she had on me was just a by-product of her personality and I loved about her – she didn't need to go out of her way to make me feel better. It felt like within Arizona, there was a genetic code unique to her that had the sole purpose of comforting me. Arizona being Arizona was enough to calm any storm within me.

She leaned in once more and her mouth found mine. Hearing footsteps in the hallway, our kiss was abruptly cut short. Arizona smiled faintly, linking her arm around mine and leading me off into the kitchen to join the others.

* * *

With our bellies full to bursting thanks to Mark's delicious cooking, we retired into the living room, where the fire was burning and the smell of hot cocoa filled the air.

"I'm going to get a drink, would anybody like one?"

"Yes," I said immediately, recognising the glare Arizona had given me that signalled that she wanted to talk, "I'll come with you."

She made sure to shut the door firmly behind us as we entered the kitchen. This conversation we were about to have was obviously private.

"What's up?" Arizona blinked quickly and hesitated.

"Don't be mad."

"Don't give me a reason to be mad then." I grinned, leaning in to steal a kiss.

"You know how we agreed not to get each other gifts?"

"Arizona!" I protested. We had both come to the conclusion that our relationship was too newly established for the exchanging of Christmas presents. It was way too soon for the pressure of buying gifts for each other... Or so I had thought.

"Shh! They might hear us!" She knelt down and started to rummage around in one of the kitchen cabinets where she had hidden her present. Having found it, she leapt back up with a big beam on her face, "I saw this and I thought of -"

"Hi girls, any eggnog?"

"Dad, uh, yeah." Arizona quickly held the gift behind her back, pointed at the fridge and gave me a look as if to say "we'll do this later" before leaving the kitchen.

"Eggnog, Calliope?" Mr. Robbins asked, handing me a glass before I could even respond. A smile crept up onto my face. This was something Arizona was in the habit of doing – asking questions without really waiting for an answer. I never realised how similar she was to her father before that evening; they both had the same beautiful sea blue eyes and although Mr. Robbins was greying, I could tell that he use to have the same sunshine shade of blonde as his daughter. It was also very obvious that Arizona had inherited those adorable dimples from her father.

"Please, it's Callie." I said, accepting the glass of eggnog. He nodded and leaned in closer to me.

"So Callie, you know Arizona quite well don't you?"

"A-Yessss?" I hesitantly answered, not knowing where this conversation was going.

"So, you'll be able to tell me, won't you? I'd ask Teddy but..." He lowered his voice into a soft husky whisper, which I thought was completely unnecessary since everyone else was in the living room, "Are Mark and Arizona..." He waved his hand up in the air, "You know?"

I stifled a laugh when I saw his deadly serious face, "What? Uh..." I hesitated again even though I knew the answer, "N-no?"

"Oh... Oh right. My wife and I were just doing a little speculating just now. Seems like I owe her five pounds." I raised my eyebrow at him, "Oh no, don't get the wrong impression! It's just that, well, she's never brought anyone home to us, we were just... Like I said, speculating." He smiled briefly and muttered something inaudible under his breath, before excusing himself from the kitchen. I stood there along for a few minutes after he had left, thinking over what I had just heard.

Although I had never really given it much thought before, I had always considered Arizona as being comfortable and open about her sexuality. Sure, she wouldn't parade around screaming "I'm a lesbian" at the top of her voice, but I just always assumed that she was... Out. I mean, it was an unspoken fact at work that she and I were together. For someone so confident and open, it seemed strange for me to find out that she was still in the closet.

Is that why she had been so quick to say that she wasn't going to introduce me as her girlfriend because her parents didn't know she was lesbian?

A hundred questions began racing around in my head. What should I do? Should I bring it up and ask her about it? Drop it casually into conversation? Hint that I know?

None of them seemed to be a very good idea. I was sure that she had her own reasons for not telling her mother and father – I would just have to respect her decision. I remembered how long I anguished over the decision to tell my parents about my bisexuality, knowing that it would all end in tears. But I survived the rows and the screaming and the disappointment, so I was sure that she would too. I shook all the ideas of confronting Arizona out of my head and decided that the best course of action would be just to keep my mouth shut.

Callie Torres, you are not to say a word, I told myself, hoping that my curiosity wouldn't get the better of me.

* * *

Arizona's parents left a little while after, claiming that it was "getting late" and that they would "just let the young ones have fun". Of course, everyone else thought no more of it, but I couldn't help but think that their early departure was somehow linked to the conversation I had had with Mr. Robbins over the eggnog.

Arizona's long blonde curls were splayed out over my tights as she rested her head on my legs.

"Hey," She whispered, looking up at me as I twirled a lock of her hair around my fingers, "I promised Mark we'd do the dishes."

I waved my hand up in the air, "Later. I just want to do this a little longer."

"Do what?"

"You know, be here, play with your hair, look at you..."

She giggled and got up off the couch.

"Hey, what are you doing? Where are you going?"

"Come on." She pulled at my wrists, "Up!"

"W-why?"

"Because, if we don't do the dishes now, we'll never do them. I'll just end up staring at you all night long."

"Well, I wouldn't mind that." I winked, but she continued to tug me off my seat, "Oh come on, just a few more minutes?" Arizona ignored my pleas. I reluctantly got up and followed her into the kitchen.

"I'll wash, you dry." She said, tossing me a tea towel and turning on the taps with a big grin on her face, "You should have seen them interrogate Mark earlier. His. Face. Was. Priceless!"

"Who – What?"

"My parents thought it would be fun to shoot a load of questions at Mark – made him really uncomfortable."

"When was this?"

"When you were trying to call your parents. Did you get through to them in the end?"

"No." I lied. Truth was, I had got through to them. The call lasted about five seconds, which was just long enough for my father and I to exchange of Christmas greetings and nothing more, which I guess, was an improvement on the year before. "What did they ask?" I said, trying to shake away the disappointment.

"It started off with questions about his childhood, his family, his hobbies... But then it moved on to relationships. Did you know he's slept with over fifty different women? Well he said around twenty, so I'm thinking it's more like fifty. My mother was horrified, and my dad, it was like they -"

"Arizona." She turned to face me with a little smile, "I had this weird talk with your dad." A look of puzzlement mixed with fear spread across her face.

"What... What was it about?"

"Well, he bet your mother five pounds that you and Mark were..." I watched her wince as I told her what her father had said, "That's probably why they were asking Mark all those questions, because they thought you were... Together." She turned away from me and continued scrubbing the plate in her hands. Fuckity fuck, I should _not_ have mentioned that at all. I should have just let her live happily in her little bubble, but instead I had foolishly taken it upon myself to burst it. Stupid Calliope. STUPID BAD CALLIOPE.

There was a moment of silence that felt like a lifetime as I waited anxiously for Arizona to respond.

"So... He owes my mother five pounds." She said, finally, adding with an unconvincing smile, "Because I'm definitely not with Mark Sloan – did you tell him that?" I nodded. Although she sounded calm and collected, the way she thrusted the plate forcefully into my hand told me that she was not a happy bunny. Sensing that I shouldn't push the situation any further, I decided to back off and change the subject.

"Mark's really outdone himse-"

"I know what you're thinking! Don't bother!" She said in a defensive tone, as she dropped her sponge into the water, causing water droplets to fly out of the sink. I was taken aback by the sudden outburst and could only mumble a "what?" as a response. I really really should not have mentioned it.

"You're judging me! 'Oh poor Arizona, still in the closet, too afraid to tell her parents.'"

"I don't think that at -"

"Well no! You don't get to think that. You don't know a thing about -"

"Arizona! That's not what I think! And I'm certainly not judging you." I put the plate down as gently as I could and placed my hand on her arm, "I'm not judging you, I promise." This did not seem to reassure her at all. She shrugged my hand away from her and refused to meet my eye.

"If you think for one second that I'm going to come out for you... Well, you've got another thing coming."

"I didn't think that eith-" She turned her head sharply to look at me, her curls flicking me in the face.

"Because when I do come out, it's not going to be for you, it's not going to be for anyone except for _me,_ ok? I chose when, and now is not when."

I could see a layer of moisture building up in her eyes and she was shaking a little. I couldn't tell if it was from anger or fear, but I placed both of my arms around her to lock her into a hug. I felt her resist me for a split second, before she succumbed to my embrace.

I didn't know how I felt about Arizona being in the closet. Sure, it was a surprise, but I could hardly judge her for it because I had done exactly the same thing too. It had taken me a long time to muster up the courage to tell my parents, and even then it had been Erica who had persuaded me to.

Although I could hear her muffled sniffles, I couldn't help but admire Arizona's strength – she was right, nobody should come out for anyone other than for themselves. I just wished I had know that before.

"Arizona?"

"Yes?" She lifted her head off my shoulder and looked at me as if she was searching for something.

"Arizona, I'm never going to use it against you, I'm never going to push you or force you to do anything, but if you do decide to tell them, I'm going to be here for you, ok? You're still the same Arizona to me, whether your parents know about it or not. You're still my Arizona."

Arizona made a little squeal and nestled her head into the crook of her neck. She kissed my neck and let out a contented sigh.

"I love that. "My Arizona." I love that."

As I held her in my arms, I beat the urge to say those three little words – it was far too soon, I didn't want to risk it, and instead, I silently chastised myself for causing the anguish I could have spared her.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note - I'm not entirely convinced that this chapter has been written to the best of my abilities and so I'm tempted to take it down a rewrite it sometime. Please let me what you think of it and whether I should rewrite it or not!

A Better Woman

Having had that rather interesting conversation with Mr. Robbins at Christmas, I spent the next couple of days watching Mark and Arizona closely, keeping my eyes peeled for any kind of interaction that could have been mistakenly recognised as chemistry, but nothing struck me as weird or lustful between those two.

I continued to ponder over how Mr. Robbins had incorrectly speculated that his daughter and the man-whore that was Mark Sloan were together, but I reached no real conclusion. Even though whatever Mark did was somehow linked to the beast in his trousers, there had never been any indication that he was at all interested in Arizona... Except for that one time he had tried to hit on her, but any possibility of a romance between them was quickly blown out of the water when she rebuffed him and started showing an interest in me.  
The idea of one's best friend and one's partner getting together was a concept that would normally cause people to shudder with disgust, but it was a thought I laughed at – no two people could be more wrongly suited for each other.

"Are you sure you don't want to go? It's not too late to change your mind, we can book you a ticket right n–"

"Yes Mark," I said, dusting the shoulders of the jacket he was wearing, "I am _sure_."  
The whole idea of returning to Seattle made my stomach churn, but I knew that the forthcoming Shepherd-Grey wedding was something that Mark could not miss. I, on the other hand, felt absolutely no obligation to attend and had politely declined my invitation weeks ago without giving it much thought. Sure, Derek and Meredith were nice enough people, but their wedding ceremony was not worth travelling half way across the world for. Besides, I had a funny feeling that my invitation to the wedding was sent out of politeness, rather than of actual desire for me to attend and I felt that if I had accepted, I would effectively have gone as Mark's plus one. Anyway, attending the wedding would mean having to reschedule the long awaited and highly anticipated first date with Arizona, and I was not going to miss that for the world.

Mark grunted with disappointment and scooped me up into a big hug.

"Have a safe flight. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, stay away from Lexie Grey and call me the second you land, ok?"  
He murmured something that sounded like "Shut up Torres" in response, but I decided to ignore it. Instead, I kissed Mark on the cheek and watched him clamber into the back of his taxi.

"Don't forget to call me!"

"Yes mother!" He called, as the car drove away.

* * *

In the excitement of planning our first date (that sounds like I actually had some form of input into the matter, which really was not the case – it was all Arizona's doing), the unconventionality of our arrangements hadn't really registered in my head. Even when Arizona told me to "wrap up warm", to "wear outdoor-sy shoes" and to meet her in the park at 1.30pm that Thursday, I didn't think for a second to question her. I hadn't hit me that our first date wasn't going to be the regular dinner date that most people start their relationships off with. It was only when I was standing in the middle of the park that I began to wonder what the hell I had agreed to.

The air was crisp, the sun was out and although it was fairly mild for an afternoon in January, it was still deceivingly cold. Pulling my coat a little tighter around my body, I started to walk around in search for Arizona, but there was no a soul to be seen. In fact, I think the last person I had encountered was some dog walker a couple of minutes ago. If some crazy knife wielding maniac came running out from the bushes right now, I thought to myself, I would be a goner. With that rather morbid thought running through my head, I almost screamed when I heard my phone blast out its ringtone.

"Hey you."

"Hey Arizona, I'm here. Where are you?"

"I'm here too" She whispered in a low soft purr.

"I can't see you..." My eyes swept across the park, but there was no sight of Arizona, "Where are yo- OHMYFUCKINGGOD."  
I screamed as I saw something fly out from the bushes I had been standing by and ran in the direction of the dog walker who I had passed a few minutes ago, dropping my phone and shouting "help" at the top of my lungs. But eventually I had to stop; the stitch in my side was becoming unbearable. What the fuck was that?, I asked myself, my heart racing as I bent over to catch my breath. I turned to look back at the place where I had been standing and saw a figure with its arms on its hips. The familiar braided pigtails gave her away.

"Callllliiiioooppppeeee, Callllliiiiiooooppppeeee, come back! It's meeeeee!" She called.  
I was far too annoyed to obey her and instead I waited for Arizona to come to me. As she neared me, I felt the annoyance drain from my blood and the grimace on my face was replaced by a grin. I dreamily watched her come closer, with her trademark braids swing from side to side underneath that outrageously colourful bobble hat of hers.

"Don't... Do... That... To... Me." I huffed as I tried to hide my smile from her, trying to pretend that I was still annoyed.

"Or what?" She winked, handing me my phone before taking my hand in hers and casually weaving her fingers around mine.

"Or... Or I'll come kick your ass, that's what!" I said, attempting to pull away from her, but she tightened her grip. I had been hoping to make her feel bad for scaring me, but she merely grinned at my empty threat, "I thought you were some crazy knife psycho freak coming to kill me. Who the fuck jumps out of bushes anyw–"

Arizona suddenly mashed her lips against mine, placing her palms on my cheeks to hold me in a lip lock, before grabbing my arm and pulling me in the direction we had just come from.

"Come on." She said, tugging me along.  
I didn't put up a fight or resist her and having failed in making her feel guilty for her little prank, I thought that the right compensation for her practical joke would be to marvel at her ass as she led me along. I was secretly hoping that our walk would be a long one, so that I could spend as much time as possible staring at the perfectly pert butt cheeks she had, but my ogling was rudely cut short when she span back around to face me, almost knocking me over.

"Close your eyes." She whispered as I steadied myself.

"W-why?"

"Just do it! This is going to be freaking awesome, ok? Now close them and keep them shut!" She said in a raised voice.  
I was hesitant to follow her commands, but when she flashed me her dimples, I immediately shut my eyes. Arizona continued to pull me along, but she quickened her pace into a swift march. I felt a couple of branches brush my face as she pushed us through some sort of gap in the hedges and her hands slipped from my grasp. My eyelids were about to flicker open.

"NO. I _told_ you to keep them shut," She said, a little aggressively, before adding quickly in her usual sweet tone, "_please_."  
I squeezed my eyes tightly in response to prove they were still shut and listened closely to the rustling and oddly, the sounds of clinking glassware I could hear, but the noises quickly stopped.

"Arizo- Arizona, are you still there?" I began to panic, the temptation to just open my eyes was overwhelming but I didn't want to risk making Arizona cross again, "Arizona? Arizona?!"  
I unexpectedly felt her lips lightly press against mine, reassuring me that she was still there.

"Yes, yes... I'm still here. Ok, I think that's it – I think I'm ready." She said, clapping excitedly, "You may open your eyes now."  
I cautiously opened my eyes, half expecting her to tell me to shut them again. Arizona was stood in front of me, beaming so much that she was practically glowing with happiness. Her hat had somehow started to slide down her face and was now sitting lopsided on her head. I reached out to straighten it up, but she ducked out from my reach, revealing behind her, the activity of our admittedly "freaking awesome" first date.

"Oh, Arizona..." My voice trailed off as I gasped at the sight – I was simply lost for words.  
I thought that, with the big coats and the walking boots, we were going to go on a romantic walk together (which would still have made a pretty strange first date) or something, but I could not have been more wrong. I mean, yes, we were outside, but not for the reasons I had expected. This idea for a first date was sweeter and more romantic than any of the dates I had ever been on and the tugging in my chest became stronger.

Arizona sat down on the blanket she had laid out and gestured for me to sit down with her. She gave me a puzzled look when I remained standing, still in awe of what was in front of me.

"Do you... Not like it? Oh God, I knew it. I should have just booked a table at a restaurant like a normal person would, I'm so-"  
I sat down beside her as she carried on spewing out all these words so quickly that I could barely understand what she was saying. I placed a finger on her lips to silence her and she took a large deep breath.

"No, Arizona. I love picnics. This is incredi-"  
It was as if she hadn't heard me say a single word. Arizona interrupted me and continued powering on through her mini-speech.

"I just didn't want this to be the normal first date, you know? I wanted this to be something memorable... I didn't want us to be an ordinary couple on a forgettable first date in some fancy restaurant... We're not ordinary people Calliope!"  
She paused and straightened up her hat that had continued to slip down her face. My eyes moved away from the mini-feast she had laid out for us to look at her. Her eyes were moist and her lips were quivering a little.  
"We're extraordinary people! You're an extraordinary person Calliope."

I felt the oh so familiar urge bubbling up inside of me, the urge that I had so far successfully suppressed, but I knew the words were on the tip of my tongue.  
I so wanted to have just blurted them out right there and then. It was what my gut, and more importantly, what my heart was telling me to do, but I didn't want to put all that pressure on Arizona to say it back – something I never used to worry about with previous relationships, but then again, I had never felt the compulsion to say those three words at the start of a first date.

I mean, those words, those momentous, significant words were for the cementation of an established and stable relationship.  
What Arizona and I had, well, I could barely define what we had. Our relationship was so... Backwards – everything we had done was in a weird jumbled order. I had met her parents before I had kissed her; I had spent the night at hers before I had even called her my girlfriend (though I did only end up crashing on her couch, but that was beside the point) and this had all happened before our first date. It was exactly how Arizona had said – we were definitely not ordinary people.

Besides, was I even sure that I was actually _in love_ with Arizona? Maybe it wasn't love, but lust?  
No no, it was certainly not lust. I've felt that before, and what I was feeling was something totally different. This was something completely new to me, an unexplored territory of emotion that made me question whether I had ever been in love with anyone before.

"Calliope? Calliope – you're freaking me out."

"Huh – what?"

"Y-you were just staring blankly into space. Did you hear what I said?"  
My cheeks flushed a deep red and I mumbled my apologies as I watched her pour out a drink.

"I would have bought wine, but you have a surgery later so..." She said, passing me a glass, "orange juice it is! Oh shit," She gasped, "I'm doing it all wrong."  
Arizona snatched away my drink and placed it down on the ground, before rustling around in the picnic hamper. She mumbled something about doing something else first and quietly reprimanded herself.

"Arizona? What's wrong? What are you doing?"

"I completely forgot about this at Christmas, so... Merry Christmas." She beamed.  
I frowned at her as she presented a little red velvet box in the palm of her hand.

"Arizona..." I said, pushing her hand away from me.

"No. No. Please, just open it." She begged, with her big blue eyes watching me closely.  
I sighed and whispered my thanks, before opening up the little box. Inside, sat a shiny silver chain and linked to that, a little anchor charm.  
As I stared at the necklace, widening my eyes in total shock, Arizona searched my face for my reaction – I felt the burn of her gaze on my face.

"You're my anchor in this big ocean called life – you keep me steady when the waves get rough. We're on this ship together Calliope... And I love... I love..."  
My ears pricked up and I glanced from the necklace to Arizona, who had the look of determination and unease on her face. Was she really ready?  
"I love spending time with you. Let me help you put it on."

I immediately held my hair up so that Arizona could fasten the necklace around my neck, and I knew from the second I put it on, that I would never ever take it off.

**Home**

As I lay in my bed, tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep, I knew that my attempts to nod off were futile. Arizona was on my mind, like she had been all day, all week, all the time. I was slowly becoming infatuated with this woman, and although the idea of becoming obsessed with someone was quite scary and something typical of a psychotic stalker, I knew that I was sane and in a right and safe frame of mind.

My phone rang and I instantly knew who it was.

"What took you so long?"

"Sorry – we had a lot of catching up to do."

"You and Derek or you and Lexie?"

Mark mumbled something and quickly changed the subject, "So what's new?"

"Arizona and I had our first date, she said… That she loved spending time with me."  
I heard Mark sharply inhale.

"Ouch."

"Why ouch?"

"Well Torres, I know you. I know how much you like her. I've seen the way you look at her. You're in love with her aren't you? You want to tell her you love her, don't you? Torres… Torres, are you still there?"

"Y-y-yeah, yeah I'm still here." I said, having paused to collect my thoughts.  
Was it really that obvious?

"But don't, don't tell her you love her yet."

"Oh, what the hell do you know, Mister commitment phobe!"

"Hey! If you don't want my advice, go ahead, go and tell her that you love her and watch her run a mile."

"Oh come on, you know I didn't mean it…"

"Just give her time Callie, it'll come. I mean, I always say "I love spending time with you", it's my way of saying "I love you" without the full commitment."  
I mumbled, and that's why you've never had a long term relationship, I thought to myself.  
"Anyway, I gotta run, busy day, best man duties and all."

"Ok, bye Mark, stay safe and promise to call me later."

"Yep, I promise. Oh and Callie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love spending time with you."

"Shut up Mark."

Putting the phone back down, I could hardly believe what I had done. I was taking advice from the resident fling king, but somehow my talk with Mark was reassuring and had cleared my head from some of its worries. Arizona had said that she loved spending time with me. That, on the first date, told me that she serious about our relationship – I mean, not "I love you" serious, but it was certainly heading in that direction.  
Should I have said it back? Actually, I think it had been a good decision to not have done, I could have blurted out the "I love you" way too soon.  
I smiled as I fiddled around with my new necklace, thinking of her. For now, I would refrain from saying it, but that wouldn't stop me from saying it as many times as I wanted in my head.  
_I love you. I love you. I love you, Arizona Robbins._


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note - Sorry guys, I might be slow on updates from now on, seeing as I've just started med school but I'll try and post up chapters are regularly as possible. I haven't had much time to read over this chapter much, so sorry for the spelling/grammar mistakes if there are any and I'm sorry that this chapter is a filler, I'm trying to set the scene for the next chapter.

A Better Woman

They tell you that the anti-social working hours and the early morning shifts were all part of the package when it came to be being a doctor, but I had been one for several years, and they weren't getting any easier.

I yawned loudly and blinked quickly in an attempt to keep my heavy eyelids open. Sat at the nurses station with a coffee in one hand and a pen in the other, I tried and failed miserably to sort out my patients files. Today was not my day, I thought to myself as I groaned at the splitting headache I had and the cold I could feel coming on. I would have done just about anything to have been able to crawl back into my bed with my jammies on and a hot water bottle to sleep the rest of the day away, but glancing over at the wall clock, I realised that sadly that wouldn't be happening for a little while – it was 4.32am, there was still another two hours left of my shift.  
I sighed heavily and drained the last dregs of my coffee.

"There you are. Good morning!  
I turned to where the voice was coming from and saw Arizona skipping up to the station. The perkiness of her voice and her energetic personality was exhausting enough just to hear and to be around and I muttered my greetings in response.  
"I thought you might need this." She chirped, leaning in to kiss me, "I saw you walking around like a zombie earlier."

"Thank you! Thank you." I said, as she handed me a fresh new cup of coffee, "Yes, I really, really needed that."  
I put my pen down and slurped at my drink, propping my head up with my hand. I watched Arizona twirl a blonde curl around her fingers. How could she be so lively at this time in the morning?

"So," She said, letting the piece of hair she was fiddling with fall onto her shoulder, "you know what would be awesomely fun? A lunch date. Today."

"Sure, that sounds good," I said, automatically without thinking.  
Even though I was in desperate need for sleep, I had just voluntarily given away my time to Arizona. I internally sighed and continued drinking my coffee.

"Ok, great! Is 1pm good? I'll meet you at your place?"

"Perfect," I said with a nod, ignoring the thoughts in my head that told me to sleep.

"Awesome," She smiled, "I'll see you later."  
My eyes followed Arizona as she walked down the corridor away from me until she disappeared out of sight.  
With our impromptu second date just hours away, I was flung into a state of panic. I've always thought that there is so much riding on the second date – an expectation to live up to and the fact that our first date had been nigh on perfect, the bar had been set quite high.  
In fact, I had been trying to come up with an elaborate second date idea, in an attempt to match the standard of our first date but that had been fruitless.

The throbbing inside my head became more intense and I decided that panicking wouldn't make me feel any better – whatever Arizona and I decided to do that day would be great.

**Home**

I gasped at the sound of the doorbell ringing and immediately sat upright in my bed. My head was spinning and the sound of the doorbell ringing was not helping. Steadying myself as I heaved myself off the bed, I saw the face of my alarm clock – oh shit, was it really 1 o'clock already? I swore I only put my head down and closed my eyes a second ago…  
I turned to look in the mirror and tried unsuccessfully to smooth down the bird's nest on my head that was my tangled hair. I looked like an absolute state.

The doorbell rang again and I pulled on my dressing down to hide my embarrassing Elmo pajamas. I hurried down the stairs, wiping my runny nose on my sleeve as I opened the door for Arizona.

"Hey," She said, as she stepped into the house, but I was already half way up the stairs, "are you ready?"

"Uhhh, almost, just give me a minute!" I said, trying to suppress the involuntary groan as I held my head.  
I dashed into my bedroom and the room began to spin, causing me to fall back onto my bed. I shut my eyes for a second, just for a long blink…

"Calliope, Calliope? Are you alright?"  
I murmured as my eyes slowly flickered open. Arizona had found her way up to my bedroom and was now stood in the doorway, peering in at me collapsed on the bed. I had no intended for her to see me sprawled out on the bed, well at least, not in this way.

"I'm f-fine. I just need a moment…" I whispered, making a feeble attempt to sit up.

"Oh nonono." She said, dropping her handbag down on the floor.  
Arizona approached the bed and sat down beside me, placing her hand on my forehead, "Just as I thought. We're definitely not going anywhere today – you're sick Calliope."

"No, no, I'm fine," I muttered, shrugging off her diagnosis. I tried again to sit up in an attempt to prove my wellness, but Arizona placed a hand on my shoulder that forced me to lie flat.

"No pretty lady, you're going to get back into bed and I'm going to stay in and take care of you." She asserted as she helped me back into bed, pulling the duvet over my body, right up to my chin, "You should take a nap now. I'll be back in a second, ok?"  
I made no attempts to defy her and obediently followed her orders. Arizona rewarded me by leaning in and giving me a light kiss on the cheek before she turned to head out of the room.  
"Wait, where's your house key?"

"It's downstairs on the hook in the kitchen. Wait – why?"

"Well, I think I'll need it to get back into your house…"

"What? Where are you going? Stay with me," I stuck my arm out from underneath the duvet and held it out for her, "please Arizona, I want you to stay here with me."  
She took my hand and gave it a tight squeeze. Success! I had made her an offer that she could not refuse – how could anyone pass up on the incredible opportunity of spending the whole day with me?

"Oh Calliope, you know, if I could I'd spend all day every day with you, but I'd never get anything done. I really need to go and do something quickly, but I promise to be back by the time you wake up, ok?"  
I frowned – what could be so important as to abandon one's sick girlfriend for?  
Arizona screwed up her face when she saw my eyebrows furrow.  
"_Calliope_, it won't take long, I promise."  
Arizona kissed my cheeks again and I reluctantly closed my eyes. I heard the front door close quietly a few moments later and I eventually surrendered myself to sleep.

* * *

"I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting."  
My eyes immediately opened and I raised my head to look up to where the voice had come from. Arizona was sat up in bed next to me, fixated on the TV.

"What?"

"Huh? Oh, Calliope, you're awake! Oh my God, I didn't wake you did I? I'm so sorry..." Arizona flicked the remote at the TV to pause the movie she was watching and turned her body towards me, running the back of her hand over my forehead, "You're still quite hot."

"Why thank you," I winked, to which Arizona wrinkled her nose, "and no, you didn't wake me. Did you say something?"

"Uh no, it was just the film – Love Actually, my favourite."

"Oh... Right."  
I looked over at the TV screen and what I saw made me feel so stupid. Mr. Firth was on screen, professing his love to that awful girlfriend of his.  
_I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting.  
_The words rang in my ears as I pulled the covers up to my face to hide my blushes. What was I thinking? Of course Arizona hadn't had said that, it was a quote from the movie, idiot!  
Arizona smiled sweetly at me, unaware of my embarrassment.

"Anyway, are you feeling better?"

"Well k-"

"You must be hungry."  
Arizona didn't even bother to wait for my response. I grinned widely as she flipped over the duvet and hopped out of bed, revealing that she was wearing her pajamas too – silky and hot pink, matching Arizona's bright personality.

"What – why are you in your jammies?"  
Arizona smirked at me and gave me a little twirl.

"Do you like?"

"Well, yes, they're nice but I –"

"You didn't think you'd be the only one having fun in your pajamas, did you?"

"Yeah actually, if you call being sick having fun..."  
I rolled my eyes and attempted to get out bed. Arizona smacked my legs gently in response for my eye roll and sarcasm.

"No. You stay there, I made you some chicken soup, it's in the flask."  
She untwisted the lid and handed me a steaming flask. I breathed in the heart warming smell of homemade soup and accepted it gladly.

"You're amazing, thank you." I whispered, taking a few sips and reclining back against the headboard, "You know, you should really get out of here, you don't want to get sick too."

"Don't be silly." She said, clambering back into bed, snuggling up under the duvet with me, "I don't care! I'll be fine, I just need to take care of you."

My heart tightened a little in my chest and I involuntarily let out a sigh of affection. Could anyone have blamed me for being so madly in love with Arizona already when she said things like that? I mean,

"Don't be silly!" She said, clambering back into bed, snuggling up under the duvet with me, "I don't care! I'll be fine anyway, I just need to take care of you."

My heart tightened a little in my chest and I involuntarily let out a sigh of affection. Could you even blame me for being so madly in love with her already when she said things like that?

"Rewind it to the start, I haven't seen this in ages."

"Are you kidding? You've only missed five minutes, let's just keep watching."

"Exactly! Five minutes is hardly anything to re-watch!"  
Arizona tilted her head sideways and pouted her lips at me, but still indulged me, however reluctant.

"Fine... Only for you." She said softly, and if I'm not mistaken, with a sniffle.  
I felt a little twinge of guilt; it was evident that Arizona had caught my cold, but that feeling quickly subsided as she kissed my forehead, and I could have sworn that that kiss left a burn of passion on my head.

* * *

Arizona stirred underneath me and I roused from my slumber. Turning my head to look at her, I found that her eyes were shut and her face was expressionless – she was asleep. I moved gently off of her, carefully trying not to wake her up and saw that the TV was still on – we must have both fallen asleep whilst watching the film. I stifled a yawn as I stretched my arms. I could smell Arizona's scent on me, the sweet floral fragrance that made the tugging in my chest a little bit stronger.

"Oh, thank God."  
I turned down to look at Arizona, her eyes were still closed but she was now smiling at me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." I whispered, noticing that Arizona had a runny nose. I instinctively wiped it with the sleeve of my jammies and she opened her eyes.

"Oh... Thanks." She said, sitting up, "You didn't wake me, I've been up for about half an hour. I didn't want to move and wake you up. You're so beautiful when you sleep you know?"  
I could feel my cheeks burning up, and murmured some gibberish.  
"Are you feeling better?"

I nodded. I was feeling a hundred times better than I had been feeling earlier that day.

"I'm sorry. This is the crappiest second date ever."  
Arizona frowned and folded her arms.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I happened to think that this was a super great second date."

"What? Why? You're sick, I'm sick... How is that "super great"?" I asked, struggling to understand how Arizona could think that this was a nice date.

"Well, firstly I'm not sick. I'm fine. Secondly, this is super great because it's been low key, relaxed, casual, calm. I don't feel like I have to put myself across or act in a certain way around you, I can just be myself. None of that pretentious dinner date stuff. I mean, I've had some horrendous second dates but this... This has been perfect."  
My heart melted a little inside of me, and I felt the gooey sweet feeling of love pour out of it. I had given up trying to resist and ignore the sensation and happily welcomed the warm feeling in my chest. I didn't know what to say and instead just relished the feeling. My eyes were locked to hers for a few moments, before I seized her hand and pulled her into an embrace.

"Firstly," I sighed, slightly mocking her, "you're sick Arizona."  
Arizona protested slightly but I shushed her and she backed down.  
"So, I'm going to stay in and take care of you – I just need to take care of you."  
She smiled as she heard me repeat the words she had uttered before.  
"And secondly, you're right. This has been a good date, I'm sorry I said otherwise. It's been great – you're great." I said, kissing her forehead, then each of her cheeks before kissing her lips.  
I somehow got the feeling that inside of her, Arizona's heart was melting in the same way mine had done as I watched her close her eyes and heard her sigh a deep contented breath.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note - I bet you have all forgotten about this story, haven't you?  
Sorry for the slow slow slow update, I've been a little busy with all the induction stuff to med school, but I think I'm settled. Updates will still be less regular, but I will try my best to post up a new chapter soonish.  
This is by no means how I wanted the chapter to pan out, but I was so tired of writing and rewriting that I kind of just gave up. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it and I appreciate any feedback, good or bad. Hope you're all well!

A Better Woman

It must have been gone midnight when I heard the latch of the front door open. It was so unlike me to be awaken by such a quiet noise – it would normally take a stampede of elephants to wake me up but nevertheless, I opened my eyes and listened to the movement downstairs, knowing immediately who it was. The squeaking of the staircase that followed confirmed my thoughts as I heard footsteps ascending the steps – Arizona was still yet to work out which steps to avoid when creeping in late at night.  
The bedroom door opened slightly and light from the landing flooded into the room, but I remained perfectly still, curled up under my duvet with my back to the door. Her shadow was cast over me and her soft breathing broke the silence in the room.  
I watched her silhouette dance across the room as she undressed herself and slipped into her pajamas.

"Arizona..." I breathed huskily, as she got into bed behind me, sliding her arms around my body so that she held me in a loose embrace.

"No – shh, shh, shhhhh. Go back to sleep, Calliope." She whispered, in a somewhat sing-song tune, like a lullaby, but I could still pick up the exhaustion in her voice.  
Her hands began to tangle together across my belly and I instinctively clasped my hands around hers, squeezing them tightly.  
"Callie?"

"Uh-huh?" I murmured, turning my head so that I could just about see her out of the corner of my eye.

"Actually," She sighed, "it can wait until the morning."  
I rolled over so that I was now facing her and reached out my hand to stroke a lock of her soft blonde hair out of her face. Arizona responded with a soft exhale.

"Are you sure? I'm totally awake."  
I don't know whether Arizona believed me or not, but I was genuinely telling the truth. It was if I had a new lease of life when she opened the front door and stepped inside the house – I didn't want to go back to sleep.

"Yeah, no, I'm sure."  
Arizona spontaneously pulled me in closer and nestled her head in the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply.  
"Goodnight Calliope."

"Goodnight Arizona."  
I knew that I wasn't going to be able to persuade her to change her mind, even though I knew she was dying to tell me. She seemed much too tired for that, so instead, I closed my eyes as she placed gentle kisses on my neck and succumbed to a blissful sleep.

* * *

"Good morning." I smiled as I poured a mug of coffee for Arizona, who had just walked lazily into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes furiously.

"Hey," She replied, pulling her dressing down tightly around herself as she accepted the coffee from me, "good morning."  
Arizona made her way to the breakfast table and sat down, taking a few large slurps of her drink, before screwing up her face and sticking out her tongue.  
"That's freaking hot."  
I let out a little giggle as I pulled out the chair opposite her and she shot me a scowl, but I knew it was meant in jest.

"So, I'm thinking we grab breakfast as we head out to work later. I don't really have much in the fridge now that Mark's gone."  
I could tell that Arizona hadn't been paying attention to me because she was staring into space.  
"Arizona? Arrrizzzzooonnnaaaa?"  
I waved my hand in her face and she snapped back into reality.

"Sorry... Sorry, yeah that's a good idea, but you know, you should stock up on your supplies – Mark isn't back for another week."  
I raised my eyebrow involuntarily – how could she have heard everything I had just said whilst clearly daydreaming? That woman amazes me, I thought to myself, she was incredible.

"So, what did you need to say to me?"  
Arizona placed her mug down on her coaster and looked at me with a puzzled expression, before quickly covering her mouth, trying to suppress a yawn.  
"You know, last night – you said that something could wait till the morning? Well... It's morning now."

"Oh yeah, errrm. Hang on."  
Arizona sluggishly got off her seat and bumbled over to the counter top, where her handbag sat.  
I couldn't tell if it was because of her fatigue and that the coffee had not perked her up yet, but I thought Arizona was acting a little weirdly. There was an element of reluctance to do anything.  
As I watched her fumble around in her bag, my mind was racing, trying to figure out what could be trouble her. I hadn't seen her at all the day before except for when she came back home, so perhaps it could have been something to do with work? A patient might've died?

Arizona was taking an awfully long time to get whatever she needed out of her bag. The rustling soon died away and it was as if Arizona was frozen to her spot, motionless.

"Arizona?"

"Yes?"

"Well?"

"Ok." She sighed, turning on the spot to look at me from across the kitchen, "Please, please don't be mad."  
The last time she had said those words to me was right before she had told me that she had bought me a Christmas present, even though we had specifically agreed not to get each other gifts. I felt a terrible pang of horror come over me – had Arizona yet again bought me an expensive present? I still had not got over the enormity and the significance of the necklace she had given me and I nervously fiddled with the charm on my neck.

"Why...?"  
Arizona held out her palm, but it was too far for me to make out what she was trying to show me. With no signs of her edging closer, I leapt off my seat and took a few paces to get a better look t what she was holding.

"Callie," She breathed as I stared at the key on her hand, "I need to give this back to you."  
She silently urged me to take it from her, pushed her hand a little closer to me. I gasped a little too dramatically when I realised exactly what it was – the little cutesy blue bird keychain Arizona had attached to it had given it away.

"What? No! W-w-why?" My voice trembled as I shook my head frantically, "Don't you want a key to my place anymore? What-what-what... What does that even mean?!"  
My words began to merge together as I stuttered over them. I pushed her outstretched hand away from me and refused to meet her eye, until the most upsetting thought popped into my head.  
"Oh-my-God, Arizona!" I raised my head and stared angrily into her eyes, "Are you... Are you breaking up with me?"

"Callie –"

"What the fuck Arizona! What the _actual_ fuck?" I threw my arms up in the air in a fit of rage, almost knocking Arizona off her feet, "So you come home to _me_ last night, with your plans to _dump_ me. Then we end up sleeping in _my_ bed _together_. I fucking slept in your arms whilst you were trying to break up with me! What kind of jackass does that? You bitch. You should have saved yourself the trouble and dumped me last night."

"CALLIOPE!" Arizona shouted, in a hurt and offended voice, but I ignored her obvious distress and continued ploughing through my rant.

"No. NO." I said as calmly as I could, which was in fact, not calm at all. I closed my eyes firmly shut and screwed up my face, but I could still feel the burn of Arizona's gaze on my face, "I don't want it back. YOU CAN'T GIVE IT BACK – I won't let you. We are not over! What the fuck happened to our ship? We haven't sunk already. Don't say we have, because I swear to God, if you dare say so, I will come and kick your ass because you didn't try hard enou-"

"CALLIOPE, SHUT UP. SHUT UP!" My eyes opened immediately and I saw that Arizona was still holding the key in her hand. I had never heard Arizona snap at me like that before, with a tone of anger and irritation and to be honest, it frightened me a little, "Just take the goddamn key and shut the hell up."  
I obliged straight away, wrapping my fingers quickly and tightly around the warmed up metal to stop myself from throwing it at her. My heart was pounding so loudly that I could hear it pulsating in my ears. This was it – the break up talk. How was she going to put it? Was it her and not me? Were we moving too fast for her? Did she need space? Or maybe a break?

Arizona coughed and cleared her throat, unintentionally building up the tension and my nerves. She took a step to fill the void between us and I could feel her warm breath on my face. Clasping her hands firmly around my fists, I pulled my hands away from her, but she resisted and her hands remained securely on mine. As she traced and stroked her fingers along my knuckles in a reassuring manner, I couldn't help but think that this was the weirdest break up ever.

"Calliope." She said softly, with not a trace of the attitude she had just displayed to quieten me, but I still winced at the oncoming heartache, lowering my head with anguish, "Oh Calliope, Calliope, Calliope. I am not breaking up with you. I just... Need to do this – I need to give this back to y-"

"But why do you _need_ to, Arizona? If you're not going to dump me, then why?" I interrupted, lifting my head up to look her in the eyes.

"Nuh-uh-uh." Arizona shook her head from side to side, "I thought I told you to shut up." She paused and waited for my feeble nod.  
"I need to give your key back to you because it's not mine. You never gave it to me in the first place, I kind of just... Stole it from you."

"What are you talking about? Of course I gave _your_ key to you..."  
Arizona raised her eyebrows as I trailed off, as if to silently chastise me for my interruption.

"We were sick. I went out to get some things for the soup. I just took the key of that hook and I never gave it back. I just... kept it."

"So?"

"Well, you never gave it to me, did you? It's not mine."  
I pulled my hands away from hers suddenly and opened up my fist to her, allowing Arizona to entangle her fingers around mine.

"Ok, fine." I huffed, making sure that she knew of my annoyance, "If you want all this to be about a stupid, tiny technicality, then very well – I'll accept my key back."  
Arizona weakly smiled and squeezed my hand as if she was thanking me. She tucked a loose curl behind her ears and let go of me.  
"Arizona?"

"Yep?"

"This is the key to my house." I laid out my palm in front of her, just as she had done for me a few minutes ago. "I want you to have this. I want to give this to you. This is yours."  
I had been hoping that if I said it and rephrased it enough times, Arizona would get the picture. I wasn't doing it because it was the polite thing to do, but because I sincerely wanted her to have a key – in fact, I wanted her to stay with me, to move in with me, but I knew that it was far too soon for that.  
I watched Arizona's expression closely as she picked up the key hesitantly. It had left an imprint on my hand that she absentmindedly traced her index finger over.

"Thank you," She whispered, kissing my cheek.  
It somewhat puzzled me that Arizona needed an 'official' key-giving speech and ceremony. She never really struck me as a person that needed that much ensuring and security, but I guess I was wrong. I watched her go to sit back down in her seat, and waited for her to take a couple of sips of coffee (which I was sure was now lukewarm) before I spoke again.

"But I'm not done yet, Arizona." Her eyes gazed at me over her mug as she took another mouthful of her drink, "You cannot keep causing all this panic in me. I really, _really_ thought that this was it – that you were going to dump me. You cannot keep doing that to me. You cannot keep tricking me into thinking we're going to break up because I don't want to hold my breath every time we talk about us. I don't want to have to worry constantly about _us_."

"I know, I know. I don't mean to – I'm sorry, Calliope." Arizona's voice quivered and the next thing I knew, she had squeezed her eyes shut. I saw a few tears roll down her cheeks.

I instinctively reached out for Arizona, to wrap my arms around her, to envelop her into a hug, but she shooed me away from her.

"Arizona? What's wrong?"

"This..."  
My heart stopped.  
"This is all-all wrong, we're doing this backwards."  
My breathing stopped.  
"I want this to be – to be perfect, so that there's no... no reason for us to break up. We're supposed to do it in order."

"Oh... My... God Arizona. What is _wrong_ with you?! Didn't I _just_ say? You made me think like we were going to break up _again._ STOP IT." Arizona reacted with a short nod.  
"Since when did you start caring about order? We're extraordinary people, remember? We do things our own way. We don't need to follow any order. And I'm going to say this once, and onceonly. I am not going to reassure you about our relationship again. If you want this to work out between us then, we can make it work. The second you start to doubt us, well... then..."

"I didn't doubt us! I don't doubt us." Arizona cried in an insulted manner, "I never said I doubted us."  
I wiped a stray tear away from Arizona's cheek and looked into her beautiful eyes even though they were slightly red.

"Alright, alright." I said, in a comforting tone, "Look, let's just go out and get breakfast and put this behind us."

"We've still got hours before work though?"

"I know, but I thought... Well, we've already had a few dinner dates, a couple of lunch dates, even a freaking picnic, but no breakfast dates? Let's head to a little cafe and have a long breakfast. Now, go and get dressed. I'll wait for you."

"Ok."  
Arizona beamed, letting go of me and heading towards the door. I remained frozen in my place, a little emotionally drained from our pseudo-fight.

I poured away the now cold remains of my coffee, sighing at the waste. Arizona bounded down the stairs a few moments later, looking fresh and bright.

"Shall we go?"  
Arizona nodded and I took her hand and led her out of the kitchen in the hallway. She retracted her hand away from me, causing me to turn to look at her.

"Arizona?"

"Calliope?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note - Still slow on the update front, terribly sorry. I hope you don't lose interest in the story because we're only just getting into the nitty-gritty.

A Better Woman

"You have to tell him."

"No, why should I do it? You can tell him." I said, pulling away from Arizona's grip as she led me towards the kitchen.

"But he's _your _friend."

"So, what? _I'm_ not the one kicking him out."

Arizona rolled her eyes at me and pushed open the door. She placed her hand gently on my shoulder in such a tender, loving, almost apologetic manner that it took me by surprise when she suddenly shoved me into the kitchen, squeezing my bum hard with her other hand as she did so.

"Hey, save that for the bedroom." Mark smirked, barely looking up from his book as we stumbled into the room.  
I instinctively turned back to Arizona behind me, half expecting a snide reply from her, but she merely wrinkled her nose and stuck her tongue out at him. She gestured for me to sit down and I reluctantly did so, cursing in my head as I pulled out the chair opposite Mark.  
I stopped halfway, looked over my shoulder and a smile immediately formed on my face. It was if she had read my mind – I watched Arizona grab two large wine glasses out of the cabinet as I sat in my seat. Perhaps the alcohol will help me muster up some courage, I thought to myself.

"Do you mind?"  
I raised my head up with a clueless expression to look at Mark, who was still fixated on his book.  
"You're tapping on the table. It's annoying."

"Go on." Arizona whispered, her blonde curls gently brushing against my face as she leaned in close to my ear, placing a wine glass in front of me. I instantly took a couple of glugs of wine and set it back down on table nervously.  
Mark frowned as he stared curiously at the both of us and closed his book before folding his arms across his chest.

"Why are you two acting so weird? What have you done?"

I had expected for Arizona to have sat down beside me, but she had other ideas. I ignored Mark's question and quickly scanned the kitchen for her. Upon seeing her leaning against the counter top, with a look in her eye that urged me to talk to him, I knew that I was going to be doing this on my own.

"Mark..." I began hesitantly, "We need to talk..."

* * *

I had been dreading that conversation for about a week and although I had tried so hard to mentally prepare myself for that situation, no matter how many times I rehearsed it in my head, the thought of turfing my best friend out of his own home still seemed awful to me. The only thing that got me through that disastrous incident was the thought of Arizona officially moving in.  
We had been living together informally ever since we resolved that key debacle and frankly, we were both not looking forward to Mark's return, fearing that it would mess everything up. Did it? To a certain extent, but to be honest, I was quite surprised how the three of us managed to muddle along together. Arizona and Mark had seemed pretty civil to one another, but whether or not they were doing that for my sake was something I was yet to establish.

Since Arizona had been the driving force for the moving out of Mark, I would have thought that she would have at least contributed a few of her words to the conversation, but she had remained leaning against the kitchen work top the entire time, apparently too fascinated by the delicately patterned wine glass in her hand to help me out.

As I lay in bed with Arizona's arms looped loosely around my body, I couldn't help but go over and over that evening's event, analysing everything that was said and everything that was done. Mark had stormed out of the house in an overdramatic huff, taking a suitcase with him and swearing like a sailor as he got into his car. I guess that it wasn't a totally unexpected reaction from him – he was always quite a volatile, temperamental guy, but I had been kind of hoping that he would have just quietly accepted the new living arrangements. In hindsight, I know that that was just wishful thinking.

I asked Arizona to officially move in with me that night and I was sure to make a big song and dance about it, in the hopes that she wouldn't do another complete 180º on me and suddenly decide to move back in with Teddy, which in my mind, was a very realistic thought, judging by the whole key 'misunderstanding' before. I did not intend to make the same mistake twice. And although I was far from regretting my decision to ask Arizona to move in, there were some thoughts in my head that made me question my place in our relationship.  
Arizona struck me as a positive, confident, ballsy woman and it was totally perplexing how much reassurance she needed from me. If I needed to reassure her after every single little thing, what did that mean in terms of our relationship? Did she not believe in us? Did she not think I was as committed as she was? If anything, I thought that I was more committed than her...

The thought made me shudder and I rolled over, momentarily forgetting how closely Arizona had been lying next to me until I accidently elbowed her on the nose. She instantly screwed up her face and I could just about make out her glowering grimace in the dark.

"What was that for?" She grumbled as I profusely apologised, but something in my voice made her sense that something was wrong, "What's the matter?"

"Should I call him? Should I call Mark and check if he's alright?" I said quickly, in the fear that I might have voiced my real concerns.  
Arizona pulled her arm out from underneath me.

"Oh for fuck's sake Callie, don't be so stupid. He's a grown man. You're not his mother – God help you if you were, so stop bloody worrying about him. Just go back to sleep and forget about him. Just go back to sleep." She turned over and burrowed her face into the pillow.  
For a moment there was complete silence. I thought that she might have drifted back off to sleep, but she suddenly sat bolt upright and turned on the bedside lamp, illuminating my face. I screwed my eyes tightly, for the bright light made them sting, and although I was reluctant to do so, I willed myself to sit upright as well.

"What's wrong?" I mumbled, rubbing my sore eyes.  
Arizona turned to face me, blinking rapidly.

"I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't have snapped at you. You... You should call him. Call him now."  
She stammered as she continued to stare at me. Arizona extended her arm back to grope around the bedside table for the telephone.

"What?"  
She sighed and reached out for my hands, placing the phone calmly in them.

"You're too caring Calliope. You just love things too much. You have to call him, or else you'll be tossing and turning all night thinking about him. Just do it, he'll be expecting you to call."  
She placed a single kiss on my lips and laid back down in bed, pulling the covers over herself.

I sat still for a few moments, watching the duvet rise and fall in sync with her breathing, before leaning over her to put the phone back on its stand.

"What are you doing?" She murmured, struggling to escape the clutches of her slumber.

"Shh shh, go to sleep." I whispered, still hanging over her.  
Arizona closed her eyes obediently as I bent lower towards her, planting a soft gentle kiss on her lips. I felt them curl up into a smile beneath me and I reached out to turn out the light.

**The Hospital**

I'm not afraid to admit it; I'm the sort of person to hold a grudge, but Mark Sloan took resentment to a whole new level.  
I stabbed at my salad absentmindedly as I listened to the endless spiel spouting from his mouth.

"You know Mark, you should be pissed at me too. It was my decision as well."

"No. No." He shook his head rapidly from side to side, "No, this was her doing."  
He flicked his index finger in the direction of the vending machines, where Arizona stood staring at the choice of goodies – her sweet tooth was famous amongst the rest of the doctors and it wasn't an uncommon thing for Arizona to be bribed with a chocolate bar or two.  
As I daydreamed about my girlfriend and her penchant for candy, Mark continued his rant.  
"She bullied you into it, of course."

I rolled my eyes at him and continued to push around my lunch with my fork, frantically trying to think of a way to change the subject.

"She comes across all sweet and innocent, but you know, she's just a manipulative bitch. You'll find out soon enough."  
I kicked Mark underneath the table and he cursed under his breath.

"That's enough Mark. Yes, I know you're mad at us, but that's uncalled for."  
As he saw Arizona approaching, Mark pushed himself off the chair and bolted out of the room, muttering something angrily to himself.

"What's up with him?" Arizona asked as he pushed past her.

"Oh you know, it's the end of the world for him because his best friend and her girlfriend kicked him out." I winked, hoping to see a flash of those dimples.  
Fortunately, my wish was granted.

"We're such bad people Calliope." She giggled as she sat down.

"But being bad is so goo- Seriously?! _Again_, Arizona?" My eyes moved from her face to her hands and I raised my eyebrows at the sight. This must have been her fifth chocolate bar in three days.

"Sorry," she muttered, "I have a long day ahead."  
I shook my head disapprovingly at her and she cocked her head to the side in response, letting her long blonde hair fall down her arm.  
"Oh, don't be so boring, I got you one too – it is so good to be bad."

"Arizona!"

We both turned our heads immediately in the direction of the voice and saw Teddy with her hands on her hips a few feet from our table.

"Teddy?" Arizona rose to her feet and I watched the expression of fear appear on her face, "What's wro-?"

"Did you not bother to tell your parents that you moved out? They've been calling and calling and calling the house... Do they not know what a mobile phone is?"  
Arizona lowered her head and her eyes nervously searched the floor, as if there were some trap door for her to disappear under.  
Teddy sighed and flicked her hair back.  
"They told me to tell you to call them. They're in town for a week."

"Oh." Arizona whispered, turning to look at me.  
I would have thought that the panic was over. No bad news was given, nobody had died, but her face told me otherwise. Teddy turned and darted off toward the exit and Arizona sat back down, visibly shaken.

"What's the matter?" I placed my hand comfortingly on her shoulder and her eyes locked onto mine.

"They're in town."

"Your parents? So?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"  
I furrowed my brows.  
"As far as parents know, I'm still digging guys and now... well I've shacked up with you." She said, quietly.

"Oh."

"And they'll want to visit."

"Oh."

A silence came over us. I didn't know what to say – what did she want me to say? Reassure her that it would all be fine? Talk over options with her? Bring up the subject of coming out?

Arizona sighed and rested her head in her hands.  
""Oh", indeed."


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note - Sorry for the big gap again... I should have another chapter out before Christmas, I hope!  
I'll be updating my blog again in a few days if you're interested (link on my profile page). I'm slacking on that front as well. I hope you enjoy this chapter, though I think my writing's getting sloppy. Feedback would be good!

A Better Woman

I've always found it a really difficult concept to get my head around – the idea that as you grow older, you become more and more like your parents. It was something that just didn't sit right with me.  
Yes, sure, it's fact that as you grow up, you begin to look more like them – that's genetically dictated. But what about your personality, your behaviour, your beliefs? Are they genetic too?

I really struggled to come to a conclusion over how I felt about it. It seemed so stupid to completely rule out the parental influences on our lives, but it seemed equally as stupid to say that my personality will become their personality as I get older.  
Maybe it's because I'm such a strong believer in free will. Agreeing to the idea that my personality isn't really my own would totally void the whole notion of being free. In fact, we'd just be robotic clones of each other, wouldn't we?

But I don't think that's the real reason why I've had such a hard time accepting the idea. I think it's because of the fear; the thought of turning out like my mother and father scared the living daylights out of me. It felt so disturbing to me, to think that I could be turning into them with every passing second.  
Is it something I should just accept? Was I just born to become them?

I shuddered. There were a lot of unanswerable questions in my head that I knew I would never find a solution to. I should just stop wasting my time thinking about them, but I just kept coming back to them, again and again. I had no idea why.

One of the other things that scared the hell out of me was the concept of ending up _married_ to one of them. You know the saying. Girls marry their father and boys marry their mother. But what about gays and lesbians?  
To be honest, I didn't know which was worse, becoming one of them or being with someone as narrow minded and bigoted as my parents. It made me nauseous just to think about it and I tried to quickly push the thoughts out of my mind.

I know, I know. I hadn't really been with Arizona for very long. Even though I felt like I had known her my whole, entire life, in reality it had only been a few months, but strangely, I didn't let that stop my mind from wondering – I have to admit, rather embarrassingly, that I had thought about marriage on occasion.  
It wasn't that I had been planning to propose to her, but from time to time, the odd question did pop up in my head. Where did I think our relationship was going? Where would we be in a few years time? Would we still be together? Would there be pets? Marriage? Kids? Could I see myself married to her? Did she even want to get married? To me? Or have children? With me? Or at all?  
Possibly, maybe... I didn't know. I was just adding questions to the thousands of unanswerable ones I had thought about.

Although I was unsure and uncertain about a lot of things regarding our future together, there was one thing I was damn sure of. Arizona was neither like my mother nor my father, so the thought of being married to one of my parents was, at the time, no concern of mine.  
Even though I had not spent a lot of time with her parents, I did know that Arizona was indeed her father's daughter. It was uncanny how similar they were – their sense of humour, their mannerisms, their habits. They even shared the same cackle of a laugh.  
They made me doubt my stance on the inherited personalities. Perhaps we do turn out like our mums and dads after all. The future looks pretty bleak for me then, but I couldn't help but smile as I thought about their perfect father-daughter relationship.

_ "No, Dad please listen... N-, n-, no, that's not fair! Don't try and talk over me while I'm trying to talk over you... Uh, uh, uh!"  
Arizona pressed the phone harder against her ear and pulled a face making her frustration apparent.  
"Let's do lunch instead... No, you're not listening to me! No, you're not... Ok, fine, what did I just say then?... DAD!"  
She furrowed her brow and held the receiver away from her ear. I heard the familiar voice of Mr. Robbins crackle down from the other end._

_"Well then, Nelly! It's settled – Wednesday, 1pm. We shall see you then my dear!"  
Arizona brought the phone back to her ear immediately and started to desperately try to convince her parents to change their plans, stuttering over her words as she spoke. Several minutes passed before Arizona put the receiver back on its stand._

_"No success then?"_

_"Why does my dad have to be so stubborn?"  
I raised my eyebrows as Arizona sat down on the couch next to me. Was she really oblivious as to how similar they were?  
I brought my legs up to my chest and swivelled on my butt to face her._

_"It's ok," I said, placing my palm on her face and stroking my thumb along her cheek, "We've got a few more days to sort ourselves out."  
Arizona sighed loudly and slumped back into the couch, making my arm fall onto my lap as she spread hers out.  
"Don't be like that," I whispered, tangling my fingers around hers of her outstretched hand, "It's going to be fine, you're going to be fine and I love you."_

_Arizona smiled weakly in response, "I'm so lucky to have you. I love you too."_

"What are smiling at?"

"Oh... nothing." I muttered quickly.  
Although I had been smiling because of her, I didn't think that Arizona was in the mood to appreciate my reasons for the inappropriate facial expression.

She continued pacing back and forth with her hand pressed against her cheek. I watched her pivot on her foot each time she reached the end of the room, watched her hair flick out as she changed direction, watched her lips move slightly as she quietly rehearsed her lines.  
Even in such despair, Arizona looked so beautiful. I so wanted to just take her up in my arms and kiss her, but although my body ached for her, I fought my instinct and remained seated where I was, instead just thinking about how grateful I was to be with her.  
My eyes carried on following her from left to right, right to left until she stopped suddenly mid-step and turned to look at me. I knew exactly what she was going to say and I knew exactly how I was going to respond.

"No." I said firmly.

"No what?" She asked innocently, brushing back her hair with her fingers and fluttering her big blue eyes of hers at me, but I knew full well that she knew what I was talking about.

"N-no," I stammered as my voice caught over my words, "don't do this. Don't make me seem like the bad guy. I said no more cigarettes."  
Arizona inhaled deeply and carried on pacing up and down without saying another word.

Stress smoking was not something I would have associated at all with Arizona. I was only aware of her habit because of the rather gossipy paeds nurse who I had been working with a few months before. I knew that Arizona had thought I was completely oblivious to her smoking tendencies since I had never said anything about it and I had never caught her in the act. To be honest, I didn't really think it was my business or my place to lecture her on the dangers of smoking.  
Well, that's what I thought until I found a packet of smokes rammed down the back of the nightstand. I didn't know what to do with it and eventually decided to hide them on our bookshelf. When I found her crouched down on the floor beside the bed rummaging around, I knew instantly what she was looking for. I told her that I had confiscated them and somehow managed to get her to promise me not to buy anymore. Judging by the look of displeasure on her face as she once again span around and changed direction, I was sure that had kept her promise to me.

I felt kind of bad for turning down her unspoken request so quickly. I knew that this was a stressful time for her and I have never felt so useless– there was nothing I could really do to alleviate any of the stress she had, but I knew that smoking was not going to help the situation much at all.

"Sit down," I said softly as I lightly patted the sofa, "we still have a little time."  
Arizona stopped and glanced up at the clock.

"Can we go over it one more time?"

"Arizona..." I sighed, as she sat down beside me.

"Please."

I sighed once more, a little louder than before hoping to make my displeasure clear to her.

"Fine," I huffed, "if we must... This is my house. With Mark. Until he left for Seattle and we kicked him o-"

"Callie, skip the stuff that actually happened and focus on the stuff we made up."  
I sensed the undertones of irritation in her voice.

"Arizona, this seems so much more complicated than it needs to be. I bet they won't even ask about it."  
Arizona slouched into the couch and closed her eyes.  
"Couldn't we just say something simple? Like... Teddy and Mark are a couple? That they decided to move in together and so naturally we just did a housemate swap?"

Arizona frowned, with her eyes still shut and her arms folded across her chest.  
"It has to be _believable_, Calliope." She muttered.

I rolled my eyes, safe in the knowledge that she wouldn't have seen me do it.  
"_That is believable._" I mumbled.

Arizona flicked her eyes open and bolted off the sofa in an instant, as if there had been an electric current running through the couch. I frowned at her as she leapt off onto the floor. Surely that was a bit of an over-reaction to my backchat?

"Did you hear that?" She exclaimed, running to the window, "Oh my God, fuck they're so early."

I stood up and as calmly as I could, walked over to look out the window, wrapping my arms around Arizona from behind, resting my chin on her shoulder as we watched a car pull up outside.

"It's going to be ok." I whispered, kissing the side of her neck.  
Arizona exhaled loudly as I inhaled deeply, taking in the scent that was so quintessentially Arizona, except it was now mixed with the distinguishable smell of fear.

* * *

Arizona and I were stood side by side in the doorway of the lounge as we watched her mother and father wander around the room. My hand was gently swinging by my side and it repeatedly grazed hers. Once, twice, thrice... Each time we touched, I fought the instinct to grab her hand and entwine my fingers with hers. I wanted to glance sideways at her but I knew that I wouldn't be able to restrain myself so I kept my eyes straight forward. Arizona didn't need any distractions that day and neither did I.

"Well, isn't this a lovely place you have here?" Mrs. Robbins said, smiling at us both.

"Thanks, I-"  
Arizona nudged me in the side with her elbow that caused me to let out a little gasp. Neither Mr. nor Mrs. Robbins batted an eyelid at me but I still cleared my throat in an attempt to cover it up and I felt my cheeks burn a little.

"Yes, _it is_." Mr. Robbins replied in a somewhat sarcastic tone as he picked up the pink unicorn from the mantelpiece and frowned, "I see that you've made yourself quite at home here already, Nelly."

"Well, yeah, it _is_ my home now."

Having suitably inspected our belongings, Mr. and Mrs. Robbins sat down on the couch. To be honest, I hadn't been bothered in the slightest by their thorough examination of our possessions, but I knew that Arizona had been.  
Without my conscious realisation, my eyes had moved to look at her and had been staring at her for a few moments now, watching her face closely as though somehow she could telepathically communicate with me. I couldn't really tell whether she was distressed or upset because of her dead-pan expression, but I noticed her fingers were twitching. Her thumb began circling her forefinger in a nervous manner. I knew it would be followed by... Yep, it was – Arizona began to do her impatient lip-bite that made me feel a little weak at the knees.

"Sit down, Arizona." Her mother said.  
I took this as my cue to leave and I turned away into the hallway, muttering _excuse me_ under my breath.

"You as well, Calliope."  
I looked over my shoulder at Mr. Robbins, followed by Arizona with a puzzled look on my face. I wasn't sure whether I was more surprised by the fact that Mr. Robbins wanted me to stay, or that he had called me Calliope – I was pretty sure I had told him to call me Callie; I don't remember ever telling him my actual name.  
Arizona nodded curtly and shuffled up on the sofa to make room for me.

"So, how are the two of you then?

"We're fine. We're good." Arizona blurted out, answering for me.  
Mrs. Robbins furrowed her brow.

"We haven't seen you in months and that's all we get? A "we're fine"?"

"Well, what do you want me to tell you?"

"Anything, anything. What about work?" Mr. Robbins had his eyebrows scrunched over his eyes and he looked as if he was internally debating something, "Or maybe relationships?"

"Daniel!"

"What?" Mr. Robbins turned his head to look at his wife, who was practically scooping her jaw off of the floor.

"Mum... Dad... What's going on?"

"Nothing. Nothing." Mr. Robbins said, brushing off the incident, "...So?"

"Work's good – it's keeping me busy." Arizona answered.  
It was obvious that she was trying to hurry this meeting along, for the Arizona I knew was far more inquisitive than that.

"How about you Calliope?"

"Please, it's Callie."

"Oh is it? Why does our Nelly call you Calliope then?"

My eyes glanced to my right and I could just make out the redness in her cheeks, with a faint trace of an embarrassed smile – her dimples were barely there.

"I don't really know." I said as casually as I could even though inside my heart was palpitating, "Work's been good for me too."

"Do you get to work with each other much?"  
I paused for a moment, hoping that Arizona would answer the question, but she didn't.

"A lot more than we thought we would." I murmured, with a goofy grin on my face.

"So how have you been, Mum and Dad?" Arizona injected quickly, hoping that her parents wouldn't read into what I had just said.

"We've been good too. We don't have work to keep us busy though so we've had to think of..." He raised his eyebrow, "_Creative_ ways to keep us occupied."

"EW DAD!"

"What? Painting is creative isn't it?" He smiled, letting out a guffaw that reminded me of Arizona's laugh.  
I couldn't help but join in with the laughter and even though Arizona was slightly grossed out, I could of sworn I saw a smile flash up on her face.

* * *

"Get away! Get away!"  
Arizona shooed me away from her, gently slapping my body away.

"What? What was that for?"

"You're standing to close to me!"  
I sighed and took a step back away from her, opening the front door a little wider to accommodate the distance between us.

"Arizona, for God's sake, they wouldn't know just because we were stood next to each other."  
Arizona refused to meet my gaze and watched her mother and father bundle into their car.

"We can't take risks."

"Well you could have just asked me to go out all day today and leave you alone with your parents. I know that's what you wanted."

"No!"  
Arizona turned to look at me with a somewhat icy glare.  
"That's not what I wanted at all! I'm glad you were here. I couldn't have done it on my own. I needed... your support."  
Arizona's hand reached out to touch mine. I pulled my hand away from hers when I realised that her parents were still in the driveway, shaking my head slightly.

We watched as they pulled out onto the road and waved off Mr. and Mrs. Robbins as they disappeared down the street.

"Well, that was weird wasn't it?" I said, slamming the door and walking towards the kitchen.

"_Weird?_"  
I span around to look at Arizona and cocked my head to one side when I saw her scrunch up her face.  
"_You_ thought it was weird?"

"Yeah... did you not?"

"No, no. I did. It's just that you seemed right at home with them." Arizona muttered, taking a few paces to close the gap between us.

"Are you making this a thing? Don't make this a thing..."

"No, I'm not making it a thing. I just was making an observation."

"Fine, fine." I said, turning away from her, "Yes. I enjoyed today, so what? Shoot me."  
I heard Arizona exhale with disappointment.  
"But that's because I love your parents, Arizona. They are _so_ nice."  
I waited for Arizona to respond, but I heard nothing uttered from her lips.  
"And what I meant by weird was how they didn't ask at all about our new... living arrangements." I said.

Arizona sat down on the kitchen stool, biting her lip as if in deep thought.

"Yeah actually, I did think that earlier. Teddy might know something about that..."

"I have a question for you." I said, pulling out the chair opposite her and sitting down in it.

"Go on..."

"Why does your Dad call you Nelly?"

Arizona opened her mouth but quickly shut it.

"I can't remember." She whispered.

"Ok, don't give me that crap."

Arizona sighed and closed her eyes.

"It's so embarrassing..."

"Ok, you're going to _have_ to tell me now!" I said, with a widening grin on my face.  
Arizona was quiet for a few seconds, debating on whether to let me in the loop. As I waited, the smile began to fade.

"I used to have huge ears. Like... like masses on the sides of my head. My brother started teasing me about it, called me an elephant... and that's when my Dad started calling me Nelly, as in... Nelly the elephant."

"That's not so bad, you've definitely grown into your ears at least!"  
Arizona weakly smiled, which was quickly becoming a new habit of hers.  
"Wait what? You have a brother?"

"Had – I had a brother."

"Oh Arizona..." I reached out and wrapped my fingers around her hand, "I didn't know..."  
And to tell you the truth, as I held her hand in mine, watching her closely for any signs of tears, I felt like I hardly knew anything about her at all.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note - I know I said before Christmas, I'm really sorry; everything has been a little bit crazy. I hope you all had a lovely holiday season and that you are all well. I finished writing this in the early hours of the morning yesterday, so sorry for any typos I've made. The ending to the chapter took me so freaking long though, I kept putting it off which is one of the many reasons that it took me a while to post this up. I hope you enjoy it though.

A Better Woman

Lunchtime was always one of the busiest and most manic times of the day in the hospital. It was a battleground, a daily fight against the other doctors and the nurses and hospital visitors who were all struggling for a place in the canteen queue. It always seemed like a miracle whenever I managed to grab some food during the lunch rush hour.

It felt so strange to walk straight past the bustling cafeteria with absolutely no intention of fighting for my lunch – figuratively that is. Instead, I made a sharp left turn at the end of the hallway and hurried down the stairs, skipping a few steps as I quickened my pace. Being late was one of my own personal pet peeves and I was in danger of falling foul of it.  
The further I descended into the hospital, the more alien and foreign it became – first the patients disappeared and then the hospital staff, until it felt like there was nobody on the entire floor. I let out a big breath and carried on walking down the corridor, striding past a dozen windows. I glanced into each one as I marched along, relieved at the sight of empty rooms. That's what I loved so much about the teaching labs. As soon as it hit noon, they were deserted – eerily so. It was as if there was not a single soul on the planet other than myself but I was thankful for the quiet sanctuary and privacy it offered.

The door at the end of the hallway was propped open with a box and I edged inside. I looked at the whiteboards on the walls as I wondered towards one of the tables – seemed like there had been an orthopaedic teach or something in here earlier – and took a seat.

"Hang on. Just… One… Second…"  
I folded my arms almost instantaneously when I realised exactly what was going on.  
"There we go – look at that! Perfect."

Mark pushed the skin model to my face, expecting me to join him in marvelling his handiwork. I let out a disapproving huff.  
"Yes Mark, we get it. Everybody knows that you're a renowned plastic surgeon and yes, your stitches are perfect."  
With one swift swipe of my hand I shoved the model away, keen to get down to business.

"Well, all the work I've been doing for the burns squad hasn't been the same. It's nowhere near as delicate as plastics. I just like to know that I've still got it. It seems like nobody in England cares about their looks like we do – plastics is dead here."

I frowned.  
"Careful Mark, don't offend the country," I looked over my shoulders to see if anyone else was around to hear the insults, "we are guests."

"But guests have the intention of going back home though, don't they?" Mark muttered.  
He was right and I certainly had no desire in returning back to the States any time soon, not when I had so much here. We sat for a moment, both contemplating our own separate thoughts.

"So where were we? I think you last talked about the…" Mark raised his fingers to air-quote, "_awkwardness_?"

"What was all that for – the air quotes?"

"Well… to be honest with you, it didn't sound all that awkward to me."

"You weren't there though. It was definitely, _definitely _awkward."

"How so? What do you even mean by that?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, "I just go some… vibes from the way they were acting."  
Mark narrowed his eyes.  
"It was like they knew." I said, lowering my voice into a soft but hesitant whisper.

He took a second to ponder over his thoughts.  
"Knew what?"

I tilted my head to the side and raised an eyebrow as if to say _really?_, but Mark continued to stare blankly at me. I sighed at his blatant ignorance – had he been listening to me at all?  
"Knew that me and Arizona are… dating – that we are together."

"Oh shit, yeah." He laughed off his mistake casually, "You guys are always so open about it here that I forgot that she was in the closet."

"I know." I sighed, "But there's so much going around in my head now – so many questions. Like, since they know, then surely they're ok with it? They wouldn't have visited otherwise… Shouldn't I tell Arizona that it's al –"

"If."

"If what?"

"_If_ they know, not _since_ they know. Besides, what makes you think that they're ok with it? Maybe they're in denial or something, or… what if they came to confront her about it but you were there so they couldn't?"

"But I'm just so sure Mark, I have a feeling."

"Callie," Mark placed his hand affectionately on mine, "you're always so sure of everything. Like how you were _so sure _that George was the one, or that your parents would eventually come around to everything – look how well that all that went."

"What is this? Point-out-all-of-Callie's-mistakes-day? You know – you're not perfect either."

"No, I know, but I am damn close," he said with a playful smile and a wink, trying to lighten the mood, "and besides, I never said I was. I'm just trying to stop you from screwing up what you have."

"Well it doesn't seem like it." I murmured under my breath, loud enough for him to just about hear. I had expected him to respond with a bitter comment but he didn't which made me wonder whether I had said it a little too quietly.

"Listen." Mark breathed a heavy sigh through his nostrils and sharply inhaled a deep breath. "You would be the first to admit how lost you were when it came to being with Arizona – it was like you didn't have a clue about how to function around her. Boy – you were such a doofus."

"_Where is this going exactly, Mark_?" I hissed through my teeth as I tried to think of some comebacks.

"She must really make you happy, because I've never seen you quite like the way you are with her, Callie. So happy. So hopeful. So in love. You know, I forget about the fact that you…" he cleared his voice abruptly, "_kicked me out of my own house_ when I see you guys together. You two make me optimistic about love."  
I nodded hesitantly, still unsure of what to make of his somewhat sudden and impromptu speech. It felt like he was giving me his blessing on my relationship with Arizona – which to me made him seem like the biggest jerk. Why would I even need his blessing? I didn't care what anyone thought of us.  
"And I get that you're frustrated, but now you know exactly how Hahn felt. Don't get me wrong, I did not like that bitch one bit, but now you understand how difficult it is to be with someone who isn't quite ready to face the world yet. Coming out is a big deal – don't you remember the hundreds of conversations we had about it when you were in the closet? The number of sleepless nights you had just thinking about it?"  
I lowered my head and fiddled around with the hem of my scrub top.  
"Don't make the same mistake Hahn made, ok? Don't fuck this up."

I held back a grin that I could feel aching to form on my face. I had to hand it to him – he always knew how to pull things out of the bag, but at that moment, there was no way I was going to show him how grateful I was for his little pep talk. His ego did not need any more boosting.

"This is why you're a surgeon and not a motivational speaker, Mark." I said, pushing myself off the stool.

"You know I'm goddamn right Torres! Don't fuck it up!" He called, as I turned my back to him and walked out the door, liberating the smile that I had been suppressing.  
Who knew Mark Sloan could be my voice of reason?

**Home**

I found it so hard to concentrate for the rest of the day after having that talk with Mark. I kept replaying the conversation over and over in my head, trying to find new perspectives and new ways to handle the situation, but the same things kept coming back to me – was I really at risk of becoming Erica? Of making the same mistakes she did? Was I in danger of losing Arizona?  
I shook my head and shuddered. No – I was not like Erica at all. I had left her and all her crap back in Seattle; it was all behind me. What I should have been focusing on was what was in front of me, which at that very moment, was Arizona.

She was bare faced and dressed in her sloppy tracksuit bottoms with her tresses tied up a wild untamed mess. I sat absolutely still as I watched her take another bite of dinner, utterly mesmerised by the sight. The perfection of her flawless skin; the big cerulean blue eyes that I got completely lost in each time I looked into them; the sunshine coloured curls that I just loved to run my fingers through. How could someone be so beautiful?

"Why are you looking at me like that?"  
Arizona didn't even need to look up from her plate at me to notice that I had been staring, captivated, at her – it was if she could just _feel_ me looking at her.

"Like what?" I said, my eyes still gazing at her.

"Like that."  
She waved her fork at me from across the dining table.  
"What are you thinking about? Is there something you want to say to me?"

_Don't fuck this up. Don't. Fuck. This. Up._ Mark's words rang in my ears as my brain scrambled for a response. Arizona's piercing eyes looked into mine and suddenly there was no hope of getting a single word out. We just continued looking at each other – no words were needed.  
But she finally broke eye contact, forcing me to reply.

"Well?"

"I can't – I can't stop looking at you - I can't stop. My body aches, but I just can't stop."  
Arizona crinkled her nose at my response.

"Your body aches? Callie that's not normal."

"For you – it aches for you. I don't even know what's normal anymore when I'm with you. You make me feel things that I've never felt before."  
The faint appearance of her heart-melting dimples ghosting on her cheeks made my heart skip a beat or two.

"I love you Calliope."  
She reached out for my hand, giving it a small squeeze. I loved the way her alabaster skin looked against my tanned, olive complexion as she began to entwine her fingers around mine. She lowered her voice into a soft purr.  
"I feel like I've known you for a thousand years but at the same time, I feel like I hardly know you."

"What? What do you mean?"  
I tried to retract my hand away but she held on tight.

"No. No." She rubbed her thumb along my knuckles, "Don't be alarmed. I just want to know you. Tell me everything."

I raised my eyebrows, a little uncertain of how to respond.  
"I-I- What do you want to know?"

"Anything."

"Oh God."  
I could feel my palms becoming clammier and clammier and the temptation to pull away from Arizona's hands to wipe them on my shirt was strong, but there was no way I could let go under her firm grip.  
"Pressure – I feel like I'm on a first date."  
Arizona flashed a smile.  
"I… I was born and raised in and around Florida. I have an older sister."

"I already know all that, Calliope."

"Ah but did you know that I once a pet tortoise when I was a kid."

"No." She laughed, letting go of my hand so that she could clear away the empty plates, "What about your parents?"

"As narrow minded and homophobic as you can get. That's all you really need to know about them." I muttered.

"So are mine." She murmured.

"No they're not, don't be stupid. They're some of the nicest people I've ever met."

"That's because they think we're straight." She whispered, running the hot water into the sink.  
I got up off my chair and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind and resting my head on the shoulder.

"Do they?" I felt her muscles move underneath her skin as she slowly nodded, "What makes you think they're like my parents?"

It took a few seconds for her to respond.  
"Because… I don't know. It's the way they acted when I tried before."

"Tried to do what?"

"When I tried to tell them that I'm a lesbian."

"Are you sure? It seems ridiculous."

"Well, why don't you try coming out to them then?" she snapped, but she quickly apologised.

"It's ok," I soothed, rubbing her arm reassuringly as she rested her head on mine.

"After that… I felt no desire to ever tell them again. I felt like I didn't need to and that they didn't want to hear it. But that's changed. I've changed."

"What do you mean?"  
Arizona lifted her head and stopped leaning against me. She shrugged my head off her shoulders and turned around, back resting against the sink as she faced me. Arizona took my hands in hers and met my eyes with a look of adoration and of vulnerability.

"I've changed because I've met you. You've changed me. And it's so obvious that they love you Calliope – I sometimes wonder whether they would approve of us being together."

"But we don't need their approval."

"I know. Is it bad that I want it though?"

I hesitated. Yes, it was bad. No, it wasn't bad – I didn't know. I enveloped Arizona into my arms, buying myself a little time.

"No." I finally whispered, "It's not bad at all."


	15. Author's Note

Hi guys,

Sorry this isn't a new chapter, my life has been kind of a mess lately with university and family.

I am still committed to this story and chapter 15 is in the works - it's gone through about 3 drafts and I'm still not happy with it. Progress is slow.

I've been contemplating a change of rating from T to M based on the amount of cussing that's built up in the story so far and I wondered whether people would be interested in reading fluff and angsty action... Let me know!

Thanks for being patient,

A


	16. Chapter 15

Author's Note - I'm sorry you had to wait so long for this chapter, but my time away from here wasn't wasted; I studied my ass off and passed my first year of medical school!

Story drama? I needed a way to introduce some issues that will be addressed in the following chapters. This one is all over the place (with flashbacks cut in) and to be honest, not 100% happy with my writing, I've been a little off. Maybe I need a beta (any takers? :P )... but hopefully, you'll still be able to follow the story.

Regards the potential T to M rating change, I've never written smut before I wouldn't know where to begin, so I'm a bit hesitant to do it... Thoughts?

A Better Woman

The airport was almost empty, except for a few members of staff and a couple of stragglers who had been on the same flight as me. It was about 3 o'clock in the morning and the outside world was dormant, shrouded in complete darkness. I looked around, pulling my suitcase behind me and taking a couple of steps deeper into the terminal.  
Everything was so metallic and shiny that in almost every direction I looked, I could spot a reflection of myself. I really wished that I hadn't, because the sight of myself was frankly terrifying. My hair had been tossed into a messy bun that sat awkwardly on the top of my head and my dark circles were pretty clear even from a few yards away; they were now worse than they ever before. Mark would be sure to make some kind of comment about the way that I looked, I thought to myself, but I honestly didn't give two flying fucks.

I quickly hurried along through the giant room, trying hard not to catch any more glimpses of myself. I dragged my luggage around for a few more minutes, before sitting down on the closest bench when I finally decided that my ride hadn't arrived yet. My seat looked straight out into the blackness and I couldn't help but draw parallels between what I saw and what I felt. It was almost like there was just a pane of glass separating me from a giant abyss, a chasm of nothingness. I turned away briefly, cursing Mark under my breath, before looking back out at the depressingly dark landscape.

I needed sleep. I really wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep for a thousand years. I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to think, I didn't want to do anything, but I knew that as soon as Mark arrived, there would be a lot of talking – if not shouting – and a lot of thinking. The mere thought to talking about anything to Mark made my head hurt.

* * *

I must've nodded off. My eyes flew open with a start and I instantly pawed around to check that my luggage and handbag were still there. I looked around to see what had woken me; there were not many things that could wake me from my slumber, but I didn't see anything of significance. I looked at my watch and decided that I ought to wait outside for a while. Maybe Mark thought that I was meeting him outside and hadn't taken the initiative to check inside the terminal... besides, I thought to myself, a bit of fresh air may do me some good, to help me clear my mind.

As I slung my handbag over my shoulder and started to wheel my suitcase along, I swore I had heard some calling me. Callie isn't exactly a common name, so I turned around and scanned my surroundings. There was a flood of people pouring into the terminal, chattering loudly – I must have just misheard someone.  
I picked up some speed and marched to the closest exit, not wanting to be engulfed by the crowd behind me.

"Holy shit!"  
I instinctively shaped my hand into a fist, I wanted to be prepared to land a punch on whoever was behind me.  
"Please, please... slow down. Stop!"  
I was ready and quickly turned on the spot to face the stranger.

I let go of my luggage handle, letting my suitcase rock as my jaw hit the floor.

"Mark… isn't coming. I tried calling you, I had to... run. Sorry." Arizona huffed, trying to catch her breath.  
Having recovered after a few moments, Arizona stood upright, lunged straight for my suitcase and began to pull it along toward the exit. She turned her head to look back at me, tossing her hair over her shoulder in a strangely seductive albeit unintentional, manner. I was still frozen with my hand over my mouth.  
"Come on." She called, pointing to the doors.

I couldn't think of anything to say, so I followed her into the car park, keeping a distance between us to give me some time to think.

* * *

"Sorry I was late. Mark got pulled into surgery, he called me last minute to come pick you up."  
Fuck, she's making small talk, I thought to myself. I made a weird hmm noise to buy me some more time as she loaded my belongings into the car boot and I clicked my seat belt into place.  
I heard the car boot door slam followed by the driver's door opening and although I took this as my queue to speak, I waited and watched her as she settled into her seat.

"Arizo-"

"Callie, shut up." She said, cutting me off abruptly. Her blue eyes looked at mine briefly before she focused her attention on slotting in the car key.  
I was taken aback by the interruption, thinking that she would have only been too happy to hear me explain myself, but I was somewhat relieved at the thought of not having to talk.  
"We are really, _really_ not going to do this now. It's a long drive to get back home – I won't be able to concentrate on the road if we're going to be arguing the entire time."

Her last sentence stung. Had she preempted arguing? Because I thought it would be mostly me trying to convince her that I was still a good person and that I wasn't a bailer. I should've have know that she wouldn't have just sat passively listening to my grovelling and that I wouldn't be so readily forgiven.

**"**You must be tired, get some sleep."

I pursed my lips and knitted my brows.  
"Arizona, I'm sorry." I said as sincerely as I could, but she chose to ignore me as she started up the engine.

I turned away from her and stared out the window, barely making out the trees against the black background as we passed by. A few minutes of complete silence passed and I think she thought that I had fallen asleep.

"Me too," she sighed, "me too."

* * *

I woke up a few hours later. The sun had begun to rise over the horizon and Arizona was just about to reach a familiar junction. I grabbed my handbag sluggishly, preparing to get out of the car, whilst simultaneously rubbing my neck; sleeping in the car was a skill I was yet to master.

"Mark's place is that way though." I turned my head back, pointing at the turning we had just passed that was slowly getting smaller and smaller, "You've driven right past it."

"Yeah, I know."  
I glanced sideways at her, but her eyes were completely focused on the road.

"Where are we going?"

"Back home, then you can sleep properly in a bed. I bet your neck hurts."  
I tried to subtly slide my hand from my neck to my lap with limited success. She laughed softly as she caught me in the corner of her eye.

"You really don't have to do this for me."

"No Callie, I _do_. Now listen to me." She said firmly, grabbing at my sleeve and pulling me closer to her, but her eyes were still fixed dead ahead, "When we get back home, you are going to get a proper sleep and shower and unpack your stuff and whatever, then you ca- **HEY!**" She threw a hand up in the air, gesturing to the car ahead of us that had just pulled out in front of us, "ASSHOLE!"

My lips curled into a grin, this was the first time I had ever heard her say asshole and not arsehole, like she normally would. I hid my smile from Arizona as she continued ranting, endeared by the fact that my American-isms had rubbed off a little on her.

**Home**

_2 months ago_

_When I was living with Erica in Seattle, in that apartment with the blue door that I loved so much, my relationship with my family was pretty much non-existent. There were occasional messages left on my answer machine from my mother telling me that so-and-so's son was single and interested, in a last ditch attempt to save me from the "hellish" life that I was leading.  
Now that I had moved across the Atlantic Ocean, even that form of communication had ceased and I was finally beyond caring about our damaged, no, our irreparable relationship. It was only after I had truly given up hope on any form of reconciliation with my parents that I really began to enjoy living in a new country, though having Arizona by my side was a huge help._

_But lately, it seemed as though some other power was working against us, particularly that week. Our shifts never seemed to overlap like they used to and it was if we were a little out of sync; whenever I had returned home from a shift, I would find Arizona already asleep. We must have gone four days without a proper conversation, just hurried kisses and the occasional "good morning" and it was starting to take its toll on me._

_That morning had been no different from the morning before. Arizona had a graveyard shift and wasn't due back from at least another hour. I sipped at my coffee as I checked my email. Emails from strangers are deleted almost immediately, that was the drill._

_But for some reason, this one email that was now sitting in my deleted email folder caught my attention. I can't explain what brought me to open this said message but I immediately regretted it._

_"That's it!? A fucking email!?" I screamed as I slammed my mug angrily on the table after reading the message. Coffee droplets flew everywhere, all over my laptop and I cursed loudly._

* * *

I was already awake, and I smiled as I heard Arizona try to close the front door as quietly as she could, but the latch made that weird noise it always does. I heard her mutter something along the lines of "aw, crap" and the rustling of grocery bags that was followed by silence.  
I rolled over and stared at the vacant space on the Arizona's side of the bed. I ran my hand over where her body used to lay next to me before and ached for the old times.

I threw myself out of the bed and hopped into the shower, noticing how the shampoos and body washes had changed. Had I really been gone that long?

* * *

"No, wait what? ... Fine, ok, yes, FINE. Yes bye."  
Arizona hung up the phone just as I walked into the kitchen.

"Morning. Who was that?"

"Just Mark, and it's actually afternoon." Arizona pointed at the wall clock with a little smile.

"Since when did you ever call Mark? Coffee?"

Arizona nodded.

"He called me actually, said I owed him a favour, which I do, but… Thanks." She accepted her mug from me and gestured to the seat opposite her.

"You owe him a favour?"

Arizona nodded again.

"Why?"

"… Because he did me a favour."

"Which was?" I raised my eyebrow, curious as to why she hiding something.

"He let me pick you up from the airport this morning."

"Oh, but you sai-"

"I know what I said. I thought we could've… we could've talked on the way home, but then I realised how stupid I was being and that you needed sleep and I didn't know what I wanted to say to you yet. In fact, I still don't even know how I feel about it."

Oh shit, here it comes, I thought to myself.

* * *

_1 month ago_

_I know I should have confided in Arizona immediately, but I kept the news to myself for a month before I told Mark. I mean, he's normally fairly reliable and honest but he wasn't very helpful this time. In fact, I think he was kind of judging me for not telling Arizona about it first, which was very unlike him._

_When I did finally tell Arizona what was going on, I regretted it immediately. I had hoped that she would have talked me out of it, that she would have told me to stay put, with her._

_"No no, Callie, you should go. You've got to go."_

_"I don't know…" I circled the room with palms on my cheeks._

_"Callie, this is your sister's __**wedding**__ we're talking about – you can't not go. You've been invited."_

_"By an email!" I shouted, but quickly lowered my voice to a more acceptable conversational volume, "I got invited by a last minute email, Arizona. She said that she kept changing her mind about my invitation. She isn't even sure if she wants me there!"_

_Arizona sighed._

_"She didn't want to cause unnecessary drama on her big day; I mean, your parents and relatives will be there. I'm kind of surprised that your sister would be willing to risk a family fight on her wedding day just to have her big sister there with her."_

_"Oh, oh I see, __**I'm drama**__, am I?"_

_"Callie, don't be unreasonable, you know what I mean."_

_Arizona sighed again and this time, I sighed too._

_"Do you want to go?"_

_I hesitated. "No. Yes. No, I don't know."  
She sat down on the couch and I remained standing, her eyes piercing at me.  
"No. No, I'm not going to go." I shook my head._

_"I can go with you."_

_I scoffed, "I don't think you want to be involved in all the drama."_

_"Calliope, stop it." Arizona stood up and placed her hands on my arms, giving them a gentle rub, "I'm serious, I'll go with you. I mean, I don't think I'd be welcome for the wedding itself, but I will be there for the… for the…"  
I could see her eyebrows furrow as she tried to find the right word.  
"For the aftermath."_

* * *

"What do you mean you don't know how you _feel_ about it?"

Arizona closed her eyes and exhaled loudly.

"I spent weeks trying to convince you, Callie. You said no a thousand times and I gave up on trying to persuade you to go, even though I knew you wanted to. And then – and then you… you disappear in the middle of the night and you wouldn't answer your phone."  
A pang of guilt rippled me.  
"Oh my God Callie, I was so worried. I called Mark straight away and he said you weren't in the hospital. We just had no idea what you were going to do."

"Wait, how could _you_ know whether or not I wanted to go?" I frowned at her, but instantly regretted my question, lowering my eyes to avoid her gaze. I could hear her sniffling and her voice stuttering; I really didn't want to see her cry. I didn't want to acknowledge that I was I who was causing all this pain.

"Of course I knew Callie. Jesus!" She said, offended.  
Arizona paused for a second to wipe her eyes on her sleeve before continuing, "We didn't know what to do. _I_ didn't know what to do…"  
She said something inaudible and stopped again to wipe her eyes.  
"… and then hours and hours later, I get that stupid text message from you." She fumbled around in her pocket and fiddled for a moment, before holding her phone up to my face and I felt stupidity ooze out of every pore.

_I'm ok, C._

"Fucking hell, Callie, you really know how to reassure people. Do you always send texts like that when you go AWOL?"

"Arizona…" I reached out and placed my hand on her forearm. I had expected her to shrug it away, but she remained quite still under my grip.

"Then a 20 second voice mail on the answering machine saying you were about to board a bloody plane. And you didn't say anything else. What the hell Callie? Who does that? We're not in a fucking film, where the hero always comes back for the girl. I was so scared that you weren't going to come back to me. That I had lost you. That I would have to do the impossible task of moving on from you."

"Oh."

"And I couldn't stand living here by myself without you. I had to move back in with Teddy… and Mark, jeez." Arizona grimaced and looked down at her sleeves. They were soaked through, "Fuck. God."

I got out of my seat and wrapped my arms around her, because I had no idea what else to do. I cradled her as she shook beneath me, allowing her tears to fall on my jumper. God, how I hate the sound of her crying.

"And… I know… I know… that deep down I knew where you were and what you were doing but... but… that doesn't make it ok to skip out on me. I was so pissed at you Callie, and I think I am now, but I don't really know anymore."

"What? Why don't you know?"

"Because… I… I'm so relieved that you're back here at the same time."

I nuzzled my face into hers and kissed her cheeks repeatedly, thinking that just for a second, we'd be ok.

"Arizona." She stopped stirring beneath me, "I am so sorry that I made you share a house with Mark."  
She laughed a little, sniffling as she did so.  
"And I'm sorry for doing all of this, but you know me. You said you knew, you knew that I wanted to. You knew that I had to do it. I had to give my family one more, one last chance."  
I felt her nod underneath me.  
"These last few days have been the worst days of my entire life. I cried every single day, I cried on the plane there and on the plane back. I cried 24/7. I didn't know it before, but I needed you with me, to be my pillar. To be my anchor." I toyed with the chain around my neck that I hadn't ever taken off.  
"I can't do anything without you and God this is so cliché, but I can't live without you. And I will always, _always_ come back to you. I promise."

I didn't know whether she believed me or not. She pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. We remained silent for a few moments, never breaking eye contact. I placed my hands on both her cheeks and kissed her gently, resting my forehead on hers.

"Me too, me too."


End file.
